In case you were wondering, I'm still crazy.

Back in October of 2009 (which was really just 4 posts ago because of my lazy ass) I mentioned I was getting prescribed. Well, Monday was one of those days where the adverse effects sneak up on me-- paxiflu. Most people who take or have taken Paxil experience some sort of side effect, most notoriously, withdrawal.

For the record, other than not being generally hungry, I have never experienced withdrawal from marijuana. Just my prescriptions. Anyway, I ran out of refills and had to have it called in so I missed a day... maybe two (my memory is shit, I may have forgotten to take it the day before). It starts with me acting like a bitch. Then I get night sweats and chills then nausea, vomiting if I try to take my meds, dizziness/lightheadedness, general shit. Legit, one of the worst things I experience and all I can do is try to sleep it off and keep down a bland meal so I can attempt to reintroduce a low-dose. And smoking doesn't always help; it'll calm the nausea but make the dizziness worse, helps me sleep but make me hungry for foods I can't be eating.

My poor boyfriend hates to see me sick, he's such a sport. He sat for hours in the dark so I could sleep and made me rice. I'm on the up now, having a morning bowl, watching Parenthood. Ultimately, the meds work. Since October 2009 a lot of things have happened-- not all good, some extremely dramatic and problematic, and super emotional. But I think I'm okay now. I'm not weepy or overly emotional, I don't have the severe mood swings, and I typically feel pretty good about myself and my job and my situation. It really has taken all this time to get the meds right, and to get to this point, which was probably why blogging fell through the cracks, it's a pretty intense experience, if not just downright exhausting.

Who knew taking care of yourself and eating right was so difficult? I mean, I've been up for two hours now and the task of breakfast just seems so daunting. The munchies will get the best of me soon though.

Stay Stoned. ♥

But then I got high.

So I was going to make a post last night, but then I got high and Matilda was OnDemand and well, there goes my night. Next week... maybe.

Anyways, Today was part 2 on the Honesty Vs. Dishonesty with the doctors experiment. This appointment went a lot better, I'm not as angry and I was when I left last time, and I'm on yet another new medication. This medication has the potential to get me watsted off of one glass of wine so drinking is looking even less appealing than usual, but I'll survive. A one drink tolerance may actually be a godsend in disguise, I mean, imagine how much money I'll save if a bottle of wine can get me drunk 4 times over.

She said nothing about my smoking (I guess she got the message) and just stressed the drinking and watching my food intake. This new medication is making me pretty nervous, I've never been on an anxiety medication other than marijuana before.

Today I'm getting high and going to Ikea. I'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE. I'm clearly fucking stoked. Let's hope I don't break the bank.

Stay Stoned.

Sleepy bear.

For as long as I can remember I have had bouts of insomnia. It happens most when my stress levels are higher, and smoking helps me relax and pass out. I went to bed around 2AM last night and woke up at 8AM. What the fuck? I hate waking up that early when I don't have to. To help me go back to sleep I decided to load a bowl and to do what I kindly refer to as a "wake and bake." I read a little bit of my book and was able to fall back asleep shortly after. I slept til noon. It felt glorious.

Some people may consider it pathetic, but it's really the best way to start the day. They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I'm never hungry at breakfast unless I've smoked. For some reason when I'm high I also pick out better clothes, so it's pretty win/win, you know?