wahh.

Finally bought bud yesterday after 3 days of none. Thank god. I need to stop drinking. I got wayyyyy too fucked up on Sunday and blacked out, and broke a bunch of shit and lost my shoes, my scarf, and my wallet which was thankfully returned. I'm getting just confucked. New friends, new people, new experiences. I'm in over my head I think. Sunday was a reality check, and unfortunately I'm already showing signs of acute alcoholism so I'm freaking out. Thanks Dad. Speaking of Dad, he's dying or sick or something? How am I supposed to react to this? Smoke. Duh.

When I went to the hospital Monday morning (severe dehydration/I got scared cause everyone said it was like I was on drugs)they basically told me to smoke it up and that the worst that can happen is indegestion and the munchies. Which is what happened last night. I ate: two bowls of my roomie's delicious spaghetti alfredo with half a dozen turkey meatballs, a fruit and cheese plate from the unnamed coffee shop in which I work and some grapes and an apple and then like 4 glasses of milk and a pint of ice cream. I fell asleep on the couch with terrible indegestion/heartburn. Great.

As for everything else in life, well it doesn't stop. I'm hoping that the emotional stuff will settle down now that I have a grip on life and some bleak hope that everything will work itself out.

Coming this week if I don't kill myself: Voting and Question 2, and this terrible smokers cough. Someone buy me a bong.

Hello allll.

So I'm slightly drunk thanks to my fabulous new roommate and sitting in my Unnamed Coffee Shop where I work taking advantage of the free internet for us lowly employees. I can't type for shit right now.

Can I tell you what really grinds my gears? Fucking not having a steady dealer. My old guy 'isn't selling anymore' and between moving in and shit I can't find the time to get over to my temporary replacement dealer across town. And I realllllly want to buy from him. Not only for my sake, but for his. He's a new friends boyfriend and just lost his job. (BTW, it's fucking freezing in here and I'm shivering drinking some green tea lemonade freezing my nips off, it's kinda hot). I need someone who always has stock, knows his shit and is nice enough that he will never rip me off. But never fear! College is near again! And my old dealers and good friends are coming back into town. One of my old dealers actually smoked me out last night, which was FABULOUS. He's such a nice guy. And of course I was joint-rolling queen of the night. You'll be amazed at how many self-proclaimed "stoners" don't know how to roll a joint. Jesus.

Well, in addition to smoking I drank a whole bottle of wine and made out with a gay guy who tried to convince me he was straight. Really fucked me up, you know? But, yet another reason why I like pot better, I have no desire to make out with gay men or do anything but eat. Anyways, sorry this post sucks. I'm so out of my element here. I don't have internet in my apartment lately (we had to return the old router Friday and are getting hooked up Tuesday, so sorry for this crappy post but I want to update everyone and say that Blazing Life will be back in full swing on Tuesday with a music review and some other things I've been thinking up. Stay Stoned, y'all.