wahh.

Finally bought bud yesterday after 3 days of none. Thank god. I need to stop drinking. I got wayyyyy too fucked up on Sunday and blacked out, and broke a bunch of shit and lost my shoes, my scarf, and my wallet which was thankfully returned. I'm getting just confucked. New friends, new people, new experiences. I'm in over my head I think. Sunday was a reality check, and unfortunately I'm already showing signs of acute alcoholism so I'm freaking out. Thanks Dad. Speaking of Dad, he's dying or sick or something? How am I supposed to react to this? Smoke. Duh.

When I went to the hospital Monday morning (severe dehydration/I got scared cause everyone said it was like I was on drugs)they basically told me to smoke it up and that the worst that can happen is indegestion and the munchies. Which is what happened last night. I ate: two bowls of my roomie's delicious spaghetti alfredo with half a dozen turkey meatballs, a fruit and cheese plate from the unnamed coffee shop in which I work and some grapes and an apple and then like 4 glasses of milk and a pint of ice cream. I fell asleep on the couch with terrible indegestion/heartburn. Great.

As for everything else in life, well it doesn't stop. I'm hoping that the emotional stuff will settle down now that I have a grip on life and some bleak hope that everything will work itself out.

Coming this week if I don't kill myself: Voting and Question 2, and this terrible smokers cough. Someone buy me a bong.

But then I got high.

So I was going to make a post last night, but then I got high and Matilda was OnDemand and well, there goes my night. Next week... maybe.

Anyways, Today was part 2 on the Honesty Vs. Dishonesty with the doctors experiment. This appointment went a lot better, I'm not as angry and I was when I left last time, and I'm on yet another new medication. This medication has the potential to get me watsted off of one glass of wine so drinking is looking even less appealing than usual, but I'll survive. A one drink tolerance may actually be a godsend in disguise, I mean, imagine how much money I'll save if a bottle of wine can get me drunk 4 times over.

She said nothing about my smoking (I guess she got the message) and just stressed the drinking and watching my food intake. This new medication is making me pretty nervous, I've never been on an anxiety medication other than marijuana before.

Today I'm getting high and going to Ikea. I'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE. I'm clearly fucking stoked. Let's hope I don't break the bank.

Stay Stoned.