2009. I'm super content with life (well, aside from the last 24 hours). I've had to withdraw from some people, and trust others more (which hasn't been easy, as I'm terrified of trust), take chances, kiss a lot of frogs and smoke a lot of weed. I wonder how many pounds of weed I smoke in a year?

OMG. THAT'S IT. Starting in 2009 I'm going to record ALL my purchases in my blog. Then I can actually do the math! I doubt I'll keep up with it, but it's worth and a shot, I really want to make something of this little nug of a blog. I mean, I dunno if I want business cards that say my name and "Pot Blogger" underneath, but I want readers. I want people to enjoy my content. So I guess my new years resolution is to keep blogging.

I'm not going to start in on some unreasonable quest for self discovery, I'm going to aim for something easily attainable and be the only asshole who kept their bullshit resolution.


2008 rocked, quick recap (according to my livejournal):

Started the year off in high Texas with my ex in some fantasy. Sift kick in the ass. Made one of my best playlists EVER. I missed meeting Victoria Beckham at Saks. Real emotional trash. Stayed sassy a few times. Lacrosse boy number one. Smoked exactly 1 FILTERED Lucky Strike Cigarette. The unnamed coffee shop in which I work hired me. Kidnap/rape/murder rumor. Accidentally deleted all my music. GOT TATTOOED. Brownies, blunts. LOL my last arrest (Don't ask, I'm done with that shit). Court. Dismissal. Insomnia. I helped someone go crazy. Cannonade. Beatlemania. The girls. Saw Jeffree Starr on the T. Depression. Summer. BONNAROO. That hot second in NYC. Austin. More Austin. Rode my first rollercoaster EVER. Wifey. School. Lacrosse boy number two. 19. Drinking. more drinking. More drinking. Blackouts. Drama. Running away at parties. Failing all over the place. Fucked Peruvian drug dealer. Fail. More Drama. Monday naps in 215. Shopping binges. Barlola. My diagnosis. And now here I am, sitting. Waiting for the end.

T minus one hour, fifty minutes. I'm staying home and staying stoned. Fail.

I see you, baby.

I love seeing all my international friends visit my blog. My little world map of readers is all over the place.

Today was my last high. I'm out of weed. And money. And food. I spent it well though eating Taco Bell and getting drunk at the Galleria. I spilled my drink in H&M, oops. I have vodka and rum left to help me get through this break. And of course, mothers little helpers.

I guess for a week this will be a drinking blog until I get my ass to Texas, land of the cheap and apparently, REALLY good harvests. I've got my partners in crime scoping out the best deals and the best buds. I love buying a whole bunch of weed and sitting around for a few hours and breaking up and rolling it in to joints and blunts and having a little collection, haha. It's like special reserve weed.

I've been getting really exciting about moving in with my fashion partner in crime, who i'll call LL on here. We were joking today about getting a 3 bedroom apt and having the third bedroom be a major closet/dressing area. I know I'm not moving for another 8 months but a girl can dream!





SO BEAUTIFUL. I wish. I went shopping today and picked up some gray jeans, a chanel inspired jacket and some printed tights. All for less than $60. Go me! Here's to 2009 being much more fashionable.

I was gonna update my blog, but then I got high. I think I'm gonna go downtown today for a bit, take some photos, read fashion magazines at Borders. I'm getting really high and am thinking about taking a to-go drink with me (of the alcoholic variety). I should probably not buy anything today seeing as I'm flat broke.

Yesterday was the craziest day ever at the unnamed coffee shop in which I work. We had to call the cops on a passed out drunk dude in the cafe. An ambulance, the cops, AND the fire department showed up. Then another drunk dude broke a bottle of vodka outside the mens room, and one of our regulars hit on me and tried to sell me herion/buy me a table at a club/bottle of Hypnotiq.



Peace.

SO MANY THINGS JUST HAPPENED.

Okay, so I woke up at 9AM, played with the girls (the family gave me a $50 visa gift card, score!), went to work (thank you to the nice souls who put more than $1 in my tip jar today (and those random people who put $5), came home and cleaned my ENTIRE apartment (we had black mold growing in the bathroom. The people I live with are sloppy [sorry wifey, but you are too]), and now I'm smoking a massive bowl, sitting on my lounge, listening to Okkervil River on vinyl with fucking candles lit. I'm such a romantic!

Haha, no but really, I just called my crazy Uncle to tell him Merry Christmas and when I told him I was smoking a bowl he said, "No shit! Karl, and Rudolph (my cousins) and I are just about to cruise a blunt to the apartment!" And the conversation ended with, "[cousin coughing in the background] Man, this kid can't hang, I love you talk to-- [my uncle coughing] you-- [more coughing] later!" Seriously made my Christmas.

Right afterward as I was craving candy I remembered that I bought a massive bag of Sour Patch Kids when I went to CVS before work and FORGOT IT inside the unnamed coffee shop in which I work when I left. Fail.

There was something else that happened, but I forgot, so it must have not been important. I'm going to go make food, Merry Christmas!

HIGH STORY TIME.

Alright, so this is really funny to me, and I'm going to post about it cause I'm high and I can.

I'm going to copy and paste my aim conversation with my wife about it:

ME: im really high
and this asshole DJ form berklee i met at a part added me on facebook
and i added him before i realized who it was

WIFE: unadd

ME:and so i wrote on his wall and unfriended him
i said "Xxxxxx Xxxxx wrote at 8:54pm
i remember you, I met you at a party and you were a complete asshole"
lol
idk why but its HILARIOUS to me

WIFE: HAHAHA
no it's funny

ME: ok good.
cause he was
and he has fuckign outline of a diamond tattooed on his chest

WIFE: he just got facebook slammed


Yeah. It's funny to me. You may think this is funnier:


ME: fuck i burned the cinnamon rolls
because of that whole fb thing
and then i had to blog about it

Ugg-h.

I don't get Uggs. My wife has a pair and I've been wearing them for shits and giggles, but really they're not that comfortable. They're actually quite binding and make my feet feel funny. Not to mention they make everyone look like they have massive cankles. I would wear them if I were in the hospital maybe. Maybe.

Work sucked today. So many people were assholes. I'm fucking serving you coffee on Christmas eve (not for time and a half no less) and you're bitching at me cause we ran out of gift card holders? Fuck you, that's what happens when you wait til Christmas eve! On the upside, my favorite customer stopped in and said hi today. He's coming to visit me tomorrow evening.

I'll be spending Christmas morning with the family I babysit for. A lot of people freak out when they find out I smoke and GASP, am trusted with children. Idiots, I obviously don't smoke when taking care of 2 children under the age of 5. 10 and up maybe... JOKING! I would never. I hate that so often your credibility is completely shot when you're revealed as a smoker. People leave their children in the hands of alcoholics, and THAT is bullshit. I've gone to babysit for my uncle and found him high out of his mind (heroin) half asleep with the baby laying next to him.

It's the holidays that make me really happy my whole family is in recovery, it's a lot more enjoyable that way. My uncle has been clean for over 90 days now. I'm so excited to see the new baby! Merry Christmas. Ha. It still hasn't hit me that it's Christmas. No family, no tree, It just doesn't feel right. I know when I get on the plane to see my family it'll hit me. Really late, but whatever. It's not Christmas without family, so I'm just postponing mine.

I forgot where I was going with this. Merry Christmas I think, tell your families you love them! Smoke more weed. I love you all. Pictures to come soon, I've been too high to upload them from my phone.

Also, fucking fuck having your two best friends in foreign countries.

Snowed In.

I'm high as fuck and crying at House. It's the episode where some dude with brain cancer walks again into the arms of his wife. So. Damn. Cheesy. But also, enough to make me cry.

Goddamned emotions. I totally forgot I have a counseling appointment tomorrow. Fail. During that partying binge I kind of forgot that a few weeks ago I was diagnosed as being potentially bi-polar. Apparently, I show signs of cycling, and mania, with occasional depression. Sweet. Whatever, I kind of knew it? I dunno.

I just got side-tracked looking up recipes for bacon mozzarella sandwiches. I made chicken pot pie soup tonight. It was delicious! I have left overs for the rest of the week.

So yeah, counseling tomorrow morning. I guess we'll just talk about how I feel about my potential diagnosis; but what is there to say? I'm scared, I hope that all these medications don't screw up things with my friends again, but I'm really optimistic, so I'm just trying to stick with that.

I've decided I'm going to cut back a little on pot in 2009. I want to buy a Nikon D40, and if I cut down on weed I can get one in a few months.

I MISS MY FRIENDS. FUCK TUNISIA AND SINGAPORE. I haven't really moved off my couch today. Although, I did trek through the snow to Shaw's for groceries. I had no choice, I would have died of starvation. I wanna make bacon right now for some reason? fail. I'm enjoying being lazy and relaxing though, and catching up on my TV.

I want to watch a really good movie that will give me a good cry. Any suggestions?

I forgot anything else I was going to add to this. Oh well. Peace.

Au Revoir!

I just saw the last of my friends off. As my queen bee stumbled half drunk into her cab I struggled across the street to get on the T. Such a weird feeling! The T ride home was somber even though it ran express to Harvard.

I can't remember the last time I was sober. I'm almost positive it was like a week ago. I was only able to buy an eighth, I hope that's enough to get me through Christmas. I've been so high and haven't been to my apartment in days. I'm sitting here and it's completely empty and quiet save my rampant CSI watching and my munching. I have to go to work at 5. In 50 minutes. I'm still hungry/drunk/high and sitting on the couch. Fail.

There's a blizzard going on right now. There's a good foot of snow on the ground outside. I'm loving it. It's like a Christmas card. Tonight I'm going to put together some mail and do some journaling and relax with a cup of tea. Mmmm, I'm already looking forward to work being over.

Things to do this week:
-laundry
-make money
-drink
-smoke
-relax
-clean my room
-go to the grocery store

So many beautiful highs this week with beautiful people. Some tremendous wake and bakes, and lots of laughter. It's going to be oddly quiet around these parts.

I just need a vacation. It's been so chaotic, I need to regroup and just chill. I need to go find my work clothes now, pictures later. Peace.

Done. Finito. Over.

I'm done with Fall 2008, kids. And I even got into one of my minor classes this afternoon. Win. This morning my professor gave out cute little gifts for those who came to class. He gave perfect attendance kids Starbucks gift cards and since I only missed one class he gave me a signed copy of his dick-lit novel, Boston Boys Club. I started reading it on the T today after my first high (YAY SOBRIETY IS OVER!!) to de-stress and get my mind off cognitive psych. It' actually not a bad read, super trashy but I'm loving it.



Life is looking up lately, lots of opportunities coming around. God, I'm so high and it feels great. As I was coming home on the T tonight I caught a whiff of someone else wearing his cologne. My mind raced, and a smile crept up on my face. Gross. Whatever, WINTER BREAK IS HERE. And I feel great.

Boston has been beautiful lately, and I've been extremely happy. On with the ups again. Gahhh. I have to go to the psychaiatrist and the dentist tomorrow fail. At least my dentist is wayyyyyy hot. That's the props of having a student dentist I guess. Fiesta, fiesta manaña! I'm gonna get shitfaced, its going to rule. Back to my bowl now baby, much love.

BIRTH.

Ew. Placenta, after birth, the stretch marks. That shit is so not for me. Being a pothead though, especially when I was in high school, it was hard to take my birth control on time because well, I was always high and forgetting.

Hence why I take the Nuva Ring. Shit deserves a Toker's Choice award.



Yeah, I have to stick my fingers up my vag twice a month, but it sure as hell beats getting pregnant and having to take my pills on time. I already have enough pills to remember to take and I always fucking forget.

So this post goes out to all my girls taking the pill (and forgetting) and you know, if you're not on it and having sex regularly you may want to consider it. Until then, USE A GODDAMNED CONDOM. I don't want anyone I know getting pregnant.

And as just further FYI, Antibiotics reduce the efficacy of birth control. So watch out, and stay safe y'all.

Day Three.

Day three of sobriety here. I smoked a few cigarettes yesterday to calm that oral fixation, didn't suffice needless to say. I miss my joints. I've noticed that even though I'm not high, I still don't get anything done.

Yesterday I slept for the first time in forever. I slept until almost 3 p.m. It felt amazing but I only studied for like 2 hours. Fail.

On Monday I'm buying 3/8th's. I'm going to make happy brownies again over break. The last time I made them was when I got tattooed in February. I love pot brownies. All high, no harsh, and it lasts longer. I need to pick up a filter cause last time there was a lot of shake in my brownies. I didn't really notice, but just knowing that pissed me off.

Anyways, I'm going to start paying attention in class now,

Peace & Pot

The Monday Struggles Continue.

Seven days of sober start here. My finals are all on next Monday with a presentation this Wednesday and I'm not smoking all week so I can actually get some shit done and not binge in front of the TV like I did last night.

My obsession with fashion is exploding. Winter draws me to everything dark and edgy. My current obsessions?



Seriously, those stockings are hot. I must have them, ASAP. I have a feeling they're going to be my next major purchase. And those handcuffs are dying to hang from my wrist and my Marc handbag. I am so poor, this isn't even funny. I've chosen fashion over food for the last two weeks. I'm going to buy them if I babysit this week.

How is this pot related? Well, when I get high I get obsessed with making outfits on Polyvore.com


Bike Sailor Indian Hipster Mall-Rat by kidsmokes

Another reason for my fashion obsession is that I keep losing my belongings when I'm fucked up. I lost my sweater Saturday night, a shoe a few weeks ago, several scarves, a couple of sweaters (both black oddly enough...), makeup, jewelry, you name it I lose it. I'm trying to rebuild my closet now. Note to self: STOP LOSING SHIT!

Friday Fails.

My ladies and I made a new rule tonight: Whoever has the most epic fail buys coffee the next morning/afternoon.

After coffee you're almost required to ease your previous walk of shame with a walk down Newbury St. Today Juicy Couture was the place to be. Buy one get one half off jewelry and I got the cutest matching wristlets for my wife and I. I also bought the Ray Bans, haha. When the sales lady pulled out the limited edition new wayfarers, in my favorite color GRAY with SPARKLES. I couldn't turn them down.

The last two nights/mornings I've been smoking pot with a new Italian friend until 7 a.m. My eyes get so fucking dry, it kills. This week I bought accessories instead of pot. I want to buy clothes too. Lately I've been obsessed with fashion. It always comes up in me around this time of year.

I also need to buy rolling papers. Nothing rolls like OCB papers. I'm obsessed with them lately. These EZWider's aren't cutting it. Pot has been rising in price here. Always happens in the winter. I'm going to have to stock up before Christmas break starts because once again, none of my dealers will be around.

Tonight, I'm putting on my hottest dress and going out with my favorite latina partner in crime. I need to sleep for a bit, peace.

So much to do so little time to do...

Other things. Like sleep.

I'm not sure why, but I've been extremely tired lately. I woke up at noon today, and the day before, I woke up, fell asleep and didn't wake up again until 5 p.m. Fail. I can't be doing this during finals! I told myself I could go to Midnight Madness in the square and hit up one of my favorite stores if I got some work done. I didn't. I missed out on 20% off night at Poor Little Rich Girl!

So tomorrow, here's the goal:

11 a.m.: Wake upish.
12 p.m.ish: Pick up check, deposit checks, pay Comcast Bill online (ugh)
1 p.m.: EcoBarbie Project
2:30 p.m.:Ecology Class
4 p.m.: Lab
5:45 p.m.ish: EMMag Launch Party
Evening: TBA

Saturday I'm totally hitting up Newbury Street and going to MBMJ for costume jewelry and to pick out new hipster central sunglasses. That's right folks, I'm going Ray Ban. Pink or Gold? I can't decide. Should I even give a fuck? My style is all over the place. I just need some fucking sunglasses since my Marc Jacobs ones broke and my Michael Kors are in no way a decent replacement. I should go to bed.

On a final note, I took a Xanax after I smoked a joint last night and was goneeee. I fell asleep so fast and slept so well. No worries, just an experiment, I'll only do it in extreme cases. Anyways, goodnight my loves. Answer the poll.

Damnit!

So, I have about, oh, 7 days to get my final project for my Journalism class. I was supposed to go out and get footage today, and start making note cards for my psychology class, and get a barbie for my ecology project (don't ask now). I woke up at 11AM this morning, smoked the rest of the joint and the the bowl that was on my nightstand and then started on my note cards. After doing just one section of my text book, I fell asleep.

Until 5PM! What the fuck! And I'm going to a concert tonight so I'm obviously not going to be able to work on it. I may not even make it home. Ugh. BUT UGH YES NADA SURF, JEALOUS GIRLFRIENDS, AND DELTA SPIRIT.


Also, I know my birthday was almost officially two months ago, but I forgot to post about the most awesome present that I received from the love of my life, heart of my heart, Sandy down in Austin, Texas. She bought me this bad ass alarm clock with little marijuana leaves instead of numbers. Now I don't have to use my cellphone anymore!



Pictured with my tits and the most amazing necklace that the wife bought me.

God, I'm so high right now. Damnit!

Happy take-land-that-isn't-yours-and-fuck-over-the-natives day

Happy Thanksgiving ya'll. I hope you're all enjoying your time with your families and whatnot. I'll be working at the unnamed coffee shop in which I work from 1:30-7. Time and a half. baby!

Anyways, I just wanted to take a moment to tell you guys what I'm thankful for:

-Passage of Question 2
-Medicinal Marijuana
-My family
-You! My readers! (I see you MassArt! and Paris! and NorthEastern! and UT Austin! and whoever in Tewksbury, MA!)
-My scholarships and grants
-My amazing friends
-Everything I have.

I've come a long way, and I only hope that throughout my life I can help others and accomplish something worthwhile.

Now, back to smoking resin and making potato bake and getting ready for work.

Peace!

Toker's Choice Award!

This award goes to Puff Plus Tissues with Vicks!















They make them look like God in this picture for a reason. They are a miracle. My nose doesn't hurt from constant blowing and the smell loosens up my nasal passage and eases the congestion. They're about $3 at CVS and I highly recommend them. I love the smell of Vicks. And I hate being sick. Wish me a speedy recovery!

Struggles Pt. 2

What do you do when the person you call your best friend starts to call you out on all the things they're supposed to have your back for?

My medication is wreaking havoc on my life. I'm about 90% sure it's the reason I'm blacking out and becoming violent, as well. My back is also killing me and I'm pretty sure my medication is behind that too. I've been dealing with a lot lately and I'm thinking I need to hit up a walk-in therapy session tomorrow before class, this is becoming too much to deal with.

Thank god I start the paperwork for my referral tomorrow, I already have a doctors appointment next week. Hopefully my insurance will cover a chiropractor.

As for smoking, boy the buds of the week are beautiful. I need a kief grinder so I stop getting keif on my fingers instead of my bowl. I'll have to post em' up this week along with the Thanksgiving buds. I wish they made holiday pot blends that taste like cranberry or gravy or whatever. That would be sweet! At least holiday flavored blunt wraps.

Who's with me on this?

Struggles.

Monday's are always especially hard for me. It's bad enough I have to wake up at 6:30AM to get to my 8AM class, but after I get out of class at 4PM I have work until 11:30PM.

Will it ever end? Once again, I'm taking a break from drinking. I really need to get my shit together.

I finally picked up today after trying to all weekend. This weird kid in my class sold to me today. I bought one 1/8th. Before winter break comes I need to stock up. I'll be miserable if I have to spend Christmas alone AND sober once I get out of work.

Yep, I'm working Thanksgiving day, Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Shoot me know. All I know is, cheap bastards better tip me well. Cause even time and a half isn't that enticing, I just don't have shit to do otherwise.

Also, I'm officially going to Texas in January, bought my plane ticket and everything. Bring on the cheap weed and warmer weather!

Tokity Toke.

It's a beautiful day in Boston for a moral dilemma. I can pay $60/1/8th or I can wait until the other person I buy from restocks and pay $40/1/8th and not smoke for a few days. I'm going to need to think about this.

I'm so broke lately it's not even funny. I have a bunch of extra expenses this month, such as $51 for breaking the front window on a drunken spree, a wedding gift (why are my friends getting married already?), and Comcast late fee (goddamned cable company constantly switching the due date).

What do you do when you're doing really badly at saving money? I'm supposed to be saving up to go to Singapore next year and for a new pair of Ray Bans but I'm just terrible at saving lately. God Save Me.

Girlie Lunches.

One of my favorite things about having a two hour break between classes is smoking in the commons and then heading out to Newbury St. for a little shopping and snackage.

I went to American Apparel and bought a shirt and then ventured down Newbury to my favorite cafe, Espresso Royale for an amazing bagel sandwich where I happily saw a bunch of Berklee kids I rarely get to see anymore. I also got my eyebrows threaded, which I don't really recommend doing high.

There was something else I was going to write about but uh, I forgot, sorry. I'm on my way to repairing my life and my to-do list is about 2 miles high so I may be a little M.I.A. this week.

I have to work now, this sucks. I'm totally holding out for 11:30PM. Life will be good when I'm out of work.

post-election madness.

I must have caught it somehow, I don't know. I'm doing crazy things. Other people are too. The NYTimes being sold on eBay for over $400. WTF. I mean, it's history but you assholes don't appreciate us! If you bought the paper more often we would have had enough copies! Ungrateful! We put the news out 24/7 and it's just take take take. Blah. Writings my only hope, haha, I suck at math and science. CNNs holograms were scary as shit too. I was so high and just freaking.

On a tangent...

Has anyone noticed lately how Post Secret has had a lot of marijuana related secrets laltely? The hemphead one is my favorite, check them out:






I'm also going to celebrate question 2 all day long. I'm two joints deep tonight and counting. You stay sassy Boston.

Fuck yeah America!

Way to not fuck up. Not only is Barack Obama is our new President but Question 2 overwhelmingly passed!

Thank God you assholes are doing something right. I had a celebratory bowl this morning and I feel amazing. I'm even wearing blue and red. Look at me go! I've never been into America like this before!

I'm going to celebrate now by writing a story for class, haha. PEACE!

dude what the fuck

are you doing sitting here reading my blog? You best be fucking voting the shit outta this bitch:














AND VOTE YES ON 2 IF YOU'RE A MASSACHUSETTS RESIDENT!!

Who knew?

Apparently, you can get HIV from smoking a blunt with an affected person if they roll it and use their spit to stick it together. I'm amazed, who knew this? Slightly frightening, but as long as I do all the blunt rolling I think I'll be fine.

In other news, I have the worst fucking smokers cough ever. Everytime I smoke I just hack up a lung or two like it's nothing. I need to get a bong to help me out a little, cause obviously I'm not gonna stop. I don't ever cough unless I'm smoking but this is getting out of control. Everyone in my apartment thinks I'm dying when I smoke.

I need to pick up today. Who knows if I will, my current dealers a little hard to reach as of late and I realllly don't wanna go to JP before I work at 6PM. UGH. I really don't want to work, but we all gotta make a living eh?

voten.

Tuesday's the big day. Vote people! And if you're a registered Massachusetts voter you'll be faced with a few additional questions on your ballot, namely Question 2.

Question 2 seeks to decriminalize possession for less than an ounce of marijuana. Not only will the city save millions on unnecessary police work tracking down us stoners, but it will also allow anyone caught to have a chance to start over, get straight, and not have this negatively effect their record or chances at a future job. So vote yes on 2! And vote for Barack because honestly, none of us can afford to vote for McCain.

In other news, I'm going to say something I've never said before. I really want to go to Texas. I'm having a really hard time dealing with life right about now, and I could use some time at home. I don't think I've cried this much in a while. And I'm out of my meds. This is just shit. When I get them, I'm going to take like 3. I feel the winter taking it's toll already. I have a feeling it's going to be a long one. Help?

it really is all sex and drugs, just replace rock and roll with drama

This has certainly been a Halloween to remember. I'm sitting on my couch right now still in my costume (I was a hippie last night, and the Joker the night before!) smoking a blunt. Finally, I am getting some much needed R&R. I ran out of medication and I'm waiting for my prescription to be refilled. Personally, I think I'm handling this extremely well. I'm sure others beg to differ, but whatevs.

Lately I've been mixing business with pleasure. It's not going badly actually. Gossip is. This is why I like dating guys out of my social circle, gossip is ridiculous. I'm so fucking hungry man. Should I eat some Trader Joe's Vegan Pad Thai or their Chicken Pot Pie? Fuck. Anyways, that blunt hit the spot. Seriously. I packed like 2 grams in there.



I've been nursing it for about half an hour. I've recently been told I'm "different" when I'm high. I'm not sure how to handle it. I've never, ever, ever, been told that before. What would you do? Give me advice please, It's a good friend of mine. Talk it up in the comments!!

wahh.

Finally bought bud yesterday after 3 days of none. Thank god. I need to stop drinking. I got wayyyyy too fucked up on Sunday and blacked out, and broke a bunch of shit and lost my shoes, my scarf, and my wallet which was thankfully returned. I'm getting just confucked. New friends, new people, new experiences. I'm in over my head I think. Sunday was a reality check, and unfortunately I'm already showing signs of acute alcoholism so I'm freaking out. Thanks Dad. Speaking of Dad, he's dying or sick or something? How am I supposed to react to this? Smoke. Duh.

When I went to the hospital Monday morning (severe dehydration/I got scared cause everyone said it was like I was on drugs)they basically told me to smoke it up and that the worst that can happen is indegestion and the munchies. Which is what happened last night. I ate: two bowls of my roomie's delicious spaghetti alfredo with half a dozen turkey meatballs, a fruit and cheese plate from the unnamed coffee shop in which I work and some grapes and an apple and then like 4 glasses of milk and a pint of ice cream. I fell asleep on the couch with terrible indegestion/heartburn. Great.

As for everything else in life, well it doesn't stop. I'm hoping that the emotional stuff will settle down now that I have a grip on life and some bleak hope that everything will work itself out.

Coming this week if I don't kill myself: Voting and Question 2, and this terrible smokers cough. Someone buy me a bong.

First high of the day.

I know I've raved about wake and baking but, probably even better than wake and baking, is the first high of the day. No matter what time it is, if it's the first time you've gotten high since you got out of bed, you know it's going to be a good one.

Whether you sprinkle it with a little tobacco or the last of your secret stash of cali dro, you can't go wrong.

Lately I have been super content. Maybe it's the great company of others, or the fact that I don't have to go clear across Boston to pick up anymore. Or maybe it's that the midterm I was dreading is OVER! yes. Never take Cognitive Psychology, okay kids?

I never went to bed Sunday night. I studied from 2PM to 2AM and drank too much coffee and couldn't fall asleep. Rather than continue to cram, I decided to just watch the new season of the Office that I had downloaded. So there I was, weedless, watching The Office on my kitchen table consuming cup after cup of tea. At 6AM I started getting restless and started getting ready for school, reviewing the 350 digital notecards I made the day before. Ugh. Anyways, I kept dozing off in my classes and during my exam. It sucked. Then I had a bunch of people to talk to to attempt to tape my social circle back together. It went much better than expected, and every thing is cool for the most part.

Anyways, the rest of the day was whatever, I worked, came downtown after work to sleep off the 40+ hours of consciousness and here I am now, happy and reveling in the first high of the day.

EVeryong should get high today, hurry, you have 20 minutes til 4:20 if you're on the east coast, and 1 hour and 20 minutes if you're in the central time zone!

Here's what tomorrow looks like:

6:30AM: Wake up, get dressed, study
7:15: Run to the unnamed coffee shop in which I work to get a latte
7:30: Jump on the train, study on the train.
8:00: Journalism class, study in class
10:00: Cog Psych midterm, stop studying
12:00PM: Magazine meeting
12:30: Tell dude that I've been dating I don't want to date him anymore over coffee
1:00: Eat, wish I was getting high, hide from the cold
2:30: Ecology with said dude that I don't want to date anymore
4:00: Run home for 2 hours of sitting on the couch
6:00: Work at the unnamed coffee shop in which I work
11:30: Run home from work, take a shower get on the T
12:00: Chill night on the hill

I'm so stressed. I may take 2 of my anti-anxiety pills tomorrow. Is that shit legit? Can I do that? Whatever. I am.



So, I'm seeing this great guy now who's really into weed. His joints put mine to shame and he's such a gentleman. When we wake up in the morning he rolls us a joint and we watch tv and laugh at each other. Much more my style I think.

I'm so caffeinated, half-stoned, and ready for bed but clearly with all this caffeine that's not happening. I should be studying more but I really can't bring myself to read anything more about the brain or it's cognitive processes. I'll go through my digital flash cards (all 344 of them) one more time before I head to bed... maybe.

Lately I've been smoking even more, more than 1/4 a week for sure. Is this an issue? Probably not. I'm still waiting for my life to implode, should happen any day now. I'm hoping it won't happen until after my exam. Anytime after 11:45AM tomorrow is fine with me.

What's a stoner to do when they're too chill to put up with their friends? Am I really the only one who is just too chill for this shit? I don't want to fight with people, I just want to sit down and smoke a joint with you. I don't mean to hurt anyone, but shit just happens you know?

Jesus fucking christ.

I'm a huge fail. My life is imploding as we speak. I'm so fucking tired of girls.







but last night was amazing.
more to come.

SUCH A FAIL.

So yesterday in my stoned as fuck demeanor (I smoked a few blunts, one by myself, can you say FAIL?) When it occurred to me, YOU CAN TOTALLY GET AIDS FROM SMOKING A BLUNT. I mean, if the person with HIV/AIDs rolls it and maybe like, has a cut in their mouth. Isn't that terrible? I need to get better at rolling blunts so I can always roll my own and make sure no one get's AIDs.

Also, I keep trying to keep up with the buds of the week, but I just keep smoking it all before I can take a picture of it. Fail, Fail, Fail.

Can you tell that that's my new word? Anyways, I know I've been lame and haven't been updating, but hopefully I can get at least one other post this week and then I have midterms (c'mon that shit's allowable) so I'll take a break and be back in full force before the Montreal Trip. MUST SAVE MONEY.

Wow.

So some of my weed totally got jacked from my party Saturday night. Lame. I hope they enjoy getting high from it, hasholes.

Anyways, I went to see Miriam Perez blogger at feministing.com and radicaldoula.com. I totally want to be a doula now. A doula helps a mother through childbirth and after the birth. You kind of walk them through it, in a non-medical way. Very interesting stuff.

I told myself I wasn't going to pick up/smoke again until I finished my cog psych paper... but I just found like 2 grams in random spots of my room. I'm totally smoking it now. It's amazing. Win.

My birthday was awesome. Got really high and really drunk and had a wonderful time. And I saw Death Cab and cried my eyes out and it was perfect. My fucking wife is watching The Hills. This show is so goddamned vapid. I'm about to super glue my eyes closed. Awesome it's over. I'm watching Intervention now. This dude has cancer and is an alcoholic. So sad.

Okay, back to homework. Much love kids. Stay stoned.

nineteen.

It's 9 minutes til my 19th birthday and I'm watching CSI: Miami and smoking a bowl so I can start my birthday high. That's logical right?

Anyways, this birthday is a big one for me. I've never had such good friends around me like this. I've never had people want to throw a party for me or do some big event with me. I'm really enjoying life lately. The wife says I should open my present at midnight. Four minutes. I could cry. No, sorry, that was the PMS talking, I'm fine.

Two more minutes. The hit I just took made me cough up my right lung. Jesus. Okay.

Whoa, okay, I'm 19 now. On my 18th birthday I was trying to survive a shit storm. I was living in a single in the L.B. and fell asleep at 9:30PM. Exciting huh?

My wifey gave me a beautiful necklace from Betsey Johnson for my birthday! I loveeeeeeeeeee it. It's got a wolf on it! And my wonderful roommate bought me a Zippo lighter with the Beatles on it! It's adorable.

This is my year I think. Now I just need to land an internship at the Weekly Dig.

cute.

So I changed the header... It's about 7 pixels too big and it hangs over the border on the right and it annoys the shit out of me. But I'm too high to open photoshop again and crop it, so it stays. The OCD in me is going crazy.

BIRTHDAY COMING UP! I need to pick up tomorrow. Another quarter maybe? I'm watching Law & Order. Typical. I'm so fucking tired. I had class from 8-4, work from 6-11:30 and I still have to throw out the trash. Fuck. I'm REALLY tempted to throw it over the balcony... bad idea, I know, but ksdaflkshdfljdsfh I'm fucking wiped.

I'm pretty terrified of life now. This has to be the calm before the storm. Everything is too good. I'm not sure I'm prepared for the shit show that's sure to follow. Does anyone else feel like this? Is this a symptom of something? Maybe a side effect? "Feelings of impending doom," perhaps?

Let's see shall we?

eco-friendly stoners?

[From last night when our 'net went out AGAIN):

I'm sitting here babysitting my third bowl in a row when I stop and think. How many of these little plastic sandwich baggies do I go through a year? At least 100 probably. At at any given time I'm working with 2 and then throw em out at the end of the week. Not to mention I store mine in the little ½ cup Gladware cups which I lose and replace every few weeks and papers and the BIC lighters I use. Are those mother fuckers recyclable? Here I am with my reusable Whole Foods bag, telling the checker “Paper please!” and bitching at my parents for not recycling shit when I'm a plastic consuming machine.

I would start using those clear papers that are 100% plant cellulose but the glue on them sucks. Does anyone know about any good cellulose papers? As for the sandwich bags, those are irreplaceable. I feel so guilty! One thing I can do though is invest in a Zippo refillable lighter, but then there comes the price of it probably getting stolen/lost in a drunken rage...making me use both types of lighters and kind of defeating the purpose. Someone help me out here?

I keep thinking is just really good weed, but I think I'm just really happy. My friends rule and things at home are awesome. I smoked a joint this weekend, shot-gunned the entire thing with a new gentleman friend. :) < (that's my terrible stoned atttempt at being a lame-ass girl with a crush). But fuck you all cause my birthday is this week! Friday to be exact and my birthday is going to go on for a whole week starting with seeing Death Cab For Cutie with 3 of my good friends at Boston University. There will be wine!! I need to pick up before Tuesday. I'm thinking a half? at least. Ugh, I love birthdays!

Anyways, my chinese food and fries just got here. stay stoned!

buds of the week (if they make it that long).

Total Amount Purchased: 7 grams.
Total Cost: $80
Description: Lots of red hairs, earthy green, soft, still pretty moist, seeless.
Type of High: The kind where I want to eat a lot and fall asleep if I smoke too much, however, if you smoke it and listen to music and are half-motivated, you can get a lot of shit done.


Good middies I would say, no?

This fucking country.

As I was getting baked this afternoon on the living room floor John McCain announced he wanted to postpone the debates to solve the financial crisis or some bullshit. Can you believe that! He's calling for what FOX news is calling a 'very bold, bold move' and asking for a 'politics free' time.

I feel like you'd need every ivy league universities math department, every mathematician, genius, and every member of the Federal government working on this it still wouldn't (and SHOULDN'T) be hastily decided by Monday.

I'm fucking so pissed. I'm going to bed. Maybe this is all a dream. Maybe the Mucinex-D and smoking is causing hallucinations. The deadline to register to vote in Massachusetts is November 4th! Please register to vote!

one moar video for this week...

I WANNA WATCH MURDER!

Okay, you're all going to hate me. Aside from being super busy, another reason I've been slacking on updating are these fucking crime shows. I finally have cable in my apartment after over a year of no cable. I've already seen everything on OnDemand. The Closer, Law and Order, Law and Order: CI, Law and Order: SVU, CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Forensic Files, Snapped, Captured, Cold Case Files, Monk and Psych just to name a few. I don't move from the living room floor whenever I'm home.

It's causing me to spend hella money on weed. I'm buying almost a quarter a week. The only upside of that is when I'm taking the train out to JP to pick up (which takes me almost an hour and a half to get there and back) I've been able to keep up with my reading for school. I finished a whole chapter of my Ecology book and even a whole Cognitive Psych chapter last time I went out there. Next week I finally have a few more days off, so hopefully I'll be updating more.

I'm thinking of posting pictures and info about the weed I'm buying. I figure if I can keep track of where I'm buying and the quality I'll be able to weed out the best dealers. Is that a bad idea? Idk. I'm gonna go try to be responsible for a few hours. Peace.

cali drooooo

The first day of school went very well. By 2 p.m. I was in a beautiful latina's home smoking cali medicinal dro. Pretty much the best way to start any school year/week/day/whatever. That weed was fucking amazing. I need to get my ass to Cali and get me one of those cards.

Anyways, I'm smoking now again, some nice headies I got for really cheap wayyy out on the other side of town, but whatevs. I finally have money today too! I have so many fucking bills to pay. Shit sucks.

Fuck I'm so exhausted. I had class from 8-12, lunch at faneuil hall from 12-2, class from 2-4, then went to the gym til 5, and worked at Starbucks from 6-11:30. Thank God only two days a week are like this.

Also, it's day 5 on the new meds front. Things seem good? I don't know. I've dramatically changed my lifestyle around the time I started taking it. And my acid reflux hasn't been that bad either, but I'm a lightweight for sure now when it comes to drinking. No more whole bottles of wine for me. 3/4 is a good stopping point.

I'm watching The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas. It's pretty funny. And my nose piercing STILL isn't healed. Ugh.

Ok I'm rambling, just smoke some cali dro, ok? Please?

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

So here I am smoking a bowl trying to calm my pre-school jitters. I'm like Nemo in Finding Nemo, when he's so excited he forgets to brush himself on the anemone. SO CUTE.

Life has been really different lately. I'm working out again! Bee and I and our new roommate have been working out almost everyday for almost 3 days now and in my book, that's a big fucking deal because the last time I worked out for more than 3 days in a row was August 2007. We've been having a blast and getting drunk a bunch and making dinner and smoking in the evenings on the deck. I'm also still getting acclimated to my new anxiety/anti-depressant, so things have been exceptionally chill lately. AND HAVING ONDEMAND FUCKING OWNS. I was tired of living without cable.

I think I'm finally coming into myself a little more? If that makes sense? I might just be high. It's not exactly what I would imagine, but I'm happy and that's what matters, no?

I dunno, I'm all over the place lately and I'm sure my blog has shown that. School is starting and we're still putting finishing touches on the apartment and such. I don't know where any of my stuff is for school tomorrow. fuck. I'm just going to go to bed.

Ikea fucking sucks.

So I thought Ikea would be some magical wonderland of cheap furniture, but unfortunately it was a warehouse of anxiety. I almost cried. Anyways, they didn't have the desk I wanted. Which actually turned out to be okay because I am confident I would never have been able to put it together. I put together my desk somehow, but not after breaking one of the pieces in half and completely ignoring the directions. I spent 3 hours last night and a good 2 this morning putting it together. I got high and it went much better this morning. I don't know if I was supposed to have this many pieces left over though...



But I mean... whatever. My room is looking pretty good if I do say so myself. It's been a little stoner project in the making for months. I have a smoking area of my room! It's very "me." And of course I have something Beatles and all my favorite posters. I'll be posting pictures soon!

I'm fucking hungry. This weed I bought is amazing. It was worth the trek to Jamaica Plain. I've been in this weird mood lately. Ugh, I hope I snap out of it.

But then I got high.

So I was going to make a post last night, but then I got high and Matilda was OnDemand and well, there goes my night. Next week... maybe.

Anyways, Today was part 2 on the Honesty Vs. Dishonesty with the doctors experiment. This appointment went a lot better, I'm not as angry and I was when I left last time, and I'm on yet another new medication. This medication has the potential to get me watsted off of one glass of wine so drinking is looking even less appealing than usual, but I'll survive. A one drink tolerance may actually be a godsend in disguise, I mean, imagine how much money I'll save if a bottle of wine can get me drunk 4 times over.

She said nothing about my smoking (I guess she got the message) and just stressed the drinking and watching my food intake. This new medication is making me pretty nervous, I've never been on an anxiety medication other than marijuana before.

Today I'm getting high and going to Ikea. I'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE. I'm clearly fucking stoked. Let's hope I don't break the bank.

Stay Stoned.

Hello allll.

So I'm slightly drunk thanks to my fabulous new roommate and sitting in my Unnamed Coffee Shop where I work taking advantage of the free internet for us lowly employees. I can't type for shit right now.

Can I tell you what really grinds my gears? Fucking not having a steady dealer. My old guy 'isn't selling anymore' and between moving in and shit I can't find the time to get over to my temporary replacement dealer across town. And I realllllly want to buy from him. Not only for my sake, but for his. He's a new friends boyfriend and just lost his job. (BTW, it's fucking freezing in here and I'm shivering drinking some green tea lemonade freezing my nips off, it's kinda hot). I need someone who always has stock, knows his shit and is nice enough that he will never rip me off. But never fear! College is near again! And my old dealers and good friends are coming back into town. One of my old dealers actually smoked me out last night, which was FABULOUS. He's such a nice guy. And of course I was joint-rolling queen of the night. You'll be amazed at how many self-proclaimed "stoners" don't know how to roll a joint. Jesus.

Well, in addition to smoking I drank a whole bottle of wine and made out with a gay guy who tried to convince me he was straight. Really fucked me up, you know? But, yet another reason why I like pot better, I have no desire to make out with gay men or do anything but eat. Anyways, sorry this post sucks. I'm so out of my element here. I don't have internet in my apartment lately (we had to return the old router Friday and are getting hooked up Tuesday, so sorry for this crappy post but I want to update everyone and say that Blazing Life will be back in full swing on Tuesday with a music review and some other things I've been thinking up. Stay Stoned, y'all.

As you can tell by the little pot leafs, my summer has been pretty full. I went all the way to Tennessee on the Greyhound to get to Bonnaroo where I smoked hella weed. Then to Austin, Corpus, San Marcos, Boston, Agawam, Chelmsford, Richmond, NYC for 2 hours, and a million places in between. It was one hell of an adventure but now it's pretty much over.







That was pretty much Austin. Tons of drugs, tons of pot, some art, and my favorite friends and their zany ways. Sandy, Marquise, and Yakob, you complete me. The main reason of this post is to show you the greatness of TRAYS. Get them basically anywhere, steal them from work (or in my case get silver plated ones from the Goodwill and keep all your shit on there. Papers, another tray for breaking it up, ashtray, blunts, lighters. It's one of God's gift to stoners. Yakob's (pictured) was from his school. He said they were going to throw them away and snagged a bunch of them. Seriously, get a tray, your life will be so much better. The best part about these trays is that they're often flat enough to store under the couch or under the bed when not in use. Cause you know, being inconspicuous about my pot use is what I'm all about.

Blazing Life proudly presents:

The Tokers Choice award! I'm going to be giving these out periodically for exceptional ease of service (cause it's already hard enough to move when you're high), superior comfortability, doesn't require much effort, or in todays case: access to munchies. I'm proud to present Jet Blue Airlines with the first Tokers Choice award!

We all know how much I love getting high and going to the airport, but today I was running a little late and didn't get to make my food rounds at the terminals. I was bummed and hungry but lo and behold, a lovely vision in blue was coming towards me with a basket of snacks. Potato chips, key lime cookies, Munchies mix, biscotti, peanuts, pretzels, oh my! AND best of all, they had cans of Arizona Iced tea. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT!? Jet Blue rules. I got to watch Ellen as we landed and got in 3 good episodes of Haunted on the Discovery channel. Yeah, that's right, they have TV! With 39 cable channels!

I could actually stand up (a whopping 5'2", but still) without hitting my head, sleeping wasn't terribly uncomfortable, and my bag was the only one in the overhead bin. SO MUCH SPACE. I'm seriously impressed with their service. I'm going to try to fly Jet Blue as often as possible.

In other news, I'm going to put a little more effort into updating more timely and to help with that I am going to introduce a weekly special of music reviews. I'm thinking I'll update on Tuesdays, and basically get high and write music reviews. I'm not sure what to call it yet, suggestions? Also, if there's something you want to see more or less of on the blog let me know in the comments. If I'm going to put my time into it I want people to read and enjoy it.

Ohhh.

Sorry about the hiatus, I've been super high lately. Texas has been a blast of schwag, emotion, blunts, joints, bongs and delicious sacks of ounce. I'm leaving Austin, Texas tomorrow and heading back to Boston. I'm really excited to go back and start redecorating my apartment and my bedroom. And to go back to school! Imagine that, a stoner who loves school! Whenever I smoke the OCD comes out in me and boy has it been put to good use lately! Some of my good friends from Texas Marquise and Yak just moved into a new apartment up here and I've been having fun getting high and helping them decorate and organize. I even folded Yak's underwear!

To help the OCD in me I recently bought the Palm Centro and switched to Sprint since it was basically free with my parents plan. Pretty sweet, huh? And it's pink. I really used to hate pink, but I'm starting to enjoy my femininity.



It's got a calendar, syncs with your computer (PC AND MAC!), has sudoku, custom ringtones, speakerphone and has this nifty application that lets you draw on pictures like in paint. The camera is pretty sweet too. I'll be posting pictures from it and my Austin trip in the coming week.

To help me out with my studies I got the new Schoolhouse application for Mac OS X. It helps you keep track of your schedule, online syllbi(is that the plural of syllabus?), notes,assignments, tests, and grades. I seriously have an addiction to planning and organizing. You can find it here: http://www.loganscollins.com/schoolhouse/ It has a few gliches in Mac OS X Leopard but if you read the site it tells you how to very easily fix it.



I can't wait to start school so I can get all the full benefits from it. I need to buy my books soon though. Ugh. The one downfall of September is the money it sucks from my savings account. We need more afforable education. But that's a rant for another day. Peace.

The best thing that's ever happened to me.

I learned how to roll a tulip joint. And I have to show you. It's super easy, easier than a regular joint and will get you SUPER high. I've never smoked one by myself, and I imagine if I did I would immediately fall asleep/eat a whole pizza and fries and my kitchen and go into a coma. Try this at home, adults!



This tulip joint has been at the core of my laziness and sleepiness. We're off to Austin on Saturday! Hopefully I can blog on the road.

How to roll a joint.

Last week a commenter asked for a how-to on joint rolling. Well, I tried to make my own but realized 1) I'm not very good at rolling joints and 2) My voice sounds terrible on video when I'm high. So over the past few days I've been keeping an eye out for good tutorials on rolling a joint and I found one that appears to be from a Canadian version of SNL? I dunno. Any Canadian readers out there? Anyways, it's pretty hilarious and it seems to get the job done right. It takes a lot of practice. I sat in bed and rolled like 8 joints this morning, some people think it's easier to roll using a dollar bill around the paper to keep it in, but I tried both ways and didn't really see a difference.

How to Roll a Joint by Pierre Berton

In other news this Corpus weed is putting me to sleep. I get ridiculously tired and have been going to bed at like 12:30. Not to mention, I still feel like I'm on Boston time. These mosquitos are also annoyingly cramping my lifestyle because every time I go outside to smoke they attack me. Can I go back to Boston now please? Ugh.

Oh and yesterday was fucking awesome. Sandy and my cousin and I went to see Step Brothers at the ghetto theater yesterday. We had a blast! We each smoked our own joint on the way to the movie theater and then another one one the way back to my house to eat dinner and totally geeked out in like when we asked for 6 hot dogs and again in the theater when I was silently laughing and breathing weird and holding my hot dog weird. yeah. Amazing. I just thought it was 12:30, but realized it's 11:30. I'm going to take a nap. brb.

Fly like paper get high like planes.

My favorite place in the world to be high? (Besides curled up in my chaise lounge, reading a gook book...) The airport. For the last few years I've always gotten high before traveling and flying. People tell me I'm stupid with all the TSA regulations but I'm never holding, just high, so I don't see the harm in an extra-chill passenger.

I probably would have flipped the fuck out at the crazy check-in line if I hadn't have been high. I almost didn't make my flight. I constantly have to be conscious of my anxiety in places like airports with large congregations of people because it's really easy for me to become flustered or overwhelmed. I got through security with no problems despite the fact that I didn't have a plastic bag for my liquids, (but FYI if you're wearing door-knocker earrings they will set off the metal detector) and got on the plane and passed out for the whole first part of my flight. I'm in Philadelphia now, tired as fuck and just had a wonderful munchies session.

That's the other wonderful thing about the airport, SNACKS. My first stop was Chick-Fil-A, could you think of anything better? I ordered a chicken biscuit (It's still too early for lunch) and a medium lemonade. Nom, nom, nom. After that I strolled over to Sabarro and got a large caesar salad and I'm eyeing a Philadelphia pretzel from the cart across the way. Hopefully all this food will put me to sleep so I don't have to endure the next 5 hours sitting in that tiny plane. Maybe I'll watch The Wackness again on my laptop, I can't get enough of that movie for some reason.

Anyways, In about seven hours I'll be with my pot smoking family and my perma-baked Sandy sitting in the pool sipping on a Blue Moon, hopefully. Let's hope for the best shall we? I'm picking up an ounce as soon as I roll into the Dub C and this week I'm hoping to put together that joint-rolling tutorial (or at least find the best one out there), muse about having a stoner family, and my favorite things to do while stoned in the pool. Expect inside jokes, copious amounts of weed and hopefully lots of pictures.

OWWW.

I am an idiot.



I cut the top of my foot yesterday. It was a rather tragic incident. I was sitting on my bedroom floor, listening to records and scraping the resin out of my little glass bowl when all of a sudden, I must have scraped too hard because it fucking broke. It's still smokeable I think, because I broke the carb and the hole is still on the small side, but it's sad nonetheless. Anyways, I thought I had picked up all the glass and I put the resin into my other bowl, Coco Rose and start looking for a lighter. I roll over onto the tops of my feet to grab it and I feel the glass stick into the top of my foot. I had to pick it out and then it just started bleeding like a mother. I suck. But at least my feet are half-cute and my toe nails are a nice color (THNX CVS!).

Anyways, the moral of the story? Probably don't smoke resin, and if you're going to spend an hour scraping it out, be gentle with thin glass. I've been smoking resin cause I'm flat broke ($4.11 in my checking, $3 in cash, ballaaaa) and am just two days away from hopping on a plane and going to the underworld, so buying would be pointless. Smoking resin is probably really bad for you seeing as it's all tar basically, but it's 'double-brewed' as the bear called it last night, making it more potent and liable to put you right to sleep. I hadn't cleaned my pipe since I brought it back from Texas so I was able to scrape almost 4 bowls of resin from it. It's slightly gross and smells terrible but it gets the job done.



R.I.P. Little Glass Bonnaroo Baby Bowl. June 2008-August 2008. Little Glass Bonnaroo Baby Bowl was survived by a sister, Coco Rose, and of course, myself. She lived a short, but full life with the privilege of everything from schwag to dro. She will be missed.

It's all bullshit.

I went to the doctor this morning. They only scheduled me for a fifteen minute appointment (really? what the fuck?) and then told me to stop drinking and smoking pot and I'll be fine. Why would I quit smoking pot? It's my livelihood. Not to mention, It's the only thing that helps me fall asleep and actually eat a meal a day. She blamed the pot for my insomnia and idk what else and told me to see a therapist for my anxiety. TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW.

I've been seeing therapists for the last 13 years. It's all fucking bullshit. The Nurse Practitioner gave me a stronger dose of Prilosec after lying to me about not having anything stronger/better/that I hadn't tried before, ever heard of Nexium lady? I mean, it may not be for me, but it's definitely stronger. I've had acid reflux for 7 years, why do these people act like I don't know my shit?

Her overall recommendation: Keep up with the Prilosec, keep a sleep log, and later we'll talk about anxiety medication and the fact that I'm never hungry. She also said my nose piercing isn't infected, just swollen. Thanks lady!

Overall, pot is the thing that keeps me eating, sleeping somewhat normally and basically going, why must I stop? I'm thinking of doing my own research and handing it over to her or something. Maybe I can start a Coalition For Doctors Who Believe In Medical Marijuana. Then it'll make it so much easier for us smokers to get along in day to day life/actually be honest about our medical history. Should I just be blunt with this doctor and say "I'm not going to quit"? I mean, how far does doctor/patient confidentiality go? Does it cover excessive drug use?

According to a quick Google search and a little reading on HIPAA, it looks like there's no harm in being completely honest. I'm going to consider this an experiment. Honesty vs. Dishonesty, and do you get better care? I felt pretty belittled today at my appointment and I don't think I'm going to stand for it. What's the worst that could happen, right? I switch doctors? Big fuckin' deal. I've been to a million. My follow up appointment is September 3rd at 9:45 A.M. So expect an update on this situation soon.

Grow me the money.

I've been thinking about growing for a while now. I know it's a huge responsibility and what not, but I really think I can benefit from it and since I can't have a dog, it would be something nice to nurture/a cool project. I'd have maybe two plants I don't know if I actually have the balls to do it, because it looks pretty expensive and I'm terrible at Biology, (and you know, it's illegal and I have the worst luck ever) but it would be sweet, no?

I was poking around online today and found this:


HOW COOL RIGHT? Too bad it's way too small to grow any type of quality plant. I figure I can make a discreet grow fixture but I know it would probably run me a couple hundred dollars+ seeds and I'm a poor mexican. Not to mention, if I ever pissed off a roommate they could rat me out in a second.

I'd have to read a lot about growing too, I definitely am not knowledgeable about botany and biology and the plant itself. I learned a lot about Hemp and it's cultivation last semester but not so much strains and indoor growing conditions and such. Would any of you ever consider growing? Am I just way too stoned right now? Shit, pass the bowl...

Yes, I know Bernie Mac died. Let's talk about dr

According to Wikipedia, "The word "joint" ultimately comes from French, where it is an adjective meaning "joined" (past participle of the verb joindre) derived from Latin junctus." And you thought the Statue of Liberty was a great contribution.

Lately, I've been all about the joints. Sure, I run through my supply more quickly, but since you have to keep it burning and keep hitting I get insanely high. My other favorite thing about smoking joints is rolling them. The act is so relaxing, breaking up the bud, picking out stems and the like and gently pressing and rolling the papers together, taking care not to tear the paper or let anything fall out. And of course, the blissful moment of satisfaction and knowing that soon, you'll be smoking your beautiful creation. Here I am smoking mine:



The other awesome thing about joints is that you can save all the roaches (too-short stub left after smoking) and smoke them later in a bowl. Roach bowls tend to get you a little higher since the resin has already built up inside of it and makes it more potent. My rolling papers of choice for the last few years have been Zig Zags. I remember the orange and gold packages very distinctly strewn across the master bedroom in my grandmothers home. I also remember finding a pack in the long-forgotten chest of junk drawers we had in our garage, they had to be at least 5-10 years old. I pocketed the ancient pack, and used them my last few months in Texas.

During those last few months, I went up to my uncle one day with those ancient papers and asked him to roll a joint for me. He told me to fill it and fold it and he would roll it. I obliged and almost immediately he handed back to me a perfectly rolled joint. Since that day it's been my goal to roll like that. I'm a decent roller, but it takes a minute or two for me to roll it right. One day though, I have high hopes.

Social Butterfly?

I can't go out high. I can't socialize, I get paranoid people don't like me, and I eat myself silly in the corner and go home and munch out some more. Last night I smoked before leaving my place and going out and I kept freaking out thinking I was going too early (I was early, but it totally didn't matter), and that people on the T were talking about me (but I mean, dressed the way I was I can understand it). The last time I went to a party high I left after like an hour and a drink and went home and watched Blue Planet. Wtf is up with my life?

As soon as I started drinking I felt a lot better, calmed my nerves or whatever. I'm finding that by smoking as a sort of night-cap, get-sober activity I feel a lot better in the morning and I make more friends! Last night was no exception, smoking a joint after drinking that bottle of Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio was a godsend. Not to mention, it really brings people together. I've met a lot of really cool people who smoke lately and it's helping me improve my social skills and my social life about 100%. I'm making more plans and going out a bit more and I'm really enjoying myself.

Last night I remember sucking down a joint with this computer kid I know. We stood out on the front steps in the rain and talked about pot and whatever. A cop car drove by. I couldn't stop laughing. When we got back upstairs the mood was super intense (I think people were about to fight or something silly). I was still laughing. Keep the peace, you know? I wish I could have shoved the joint in their mouth. Sometimes all these drunk fucks need is a little weed.

Hangovers.

Quite possibly my favorite thing about smoking pot is that the only time I've ever been sick from is it when A) I over eat and puke and fall asleep or B) when I'm way too drunk (right around the intoxication level of 'the spins') and start chain-smoking joints.

This has been one topsy turvy weekend with the alcoholics in my life smoking pot all weekend and yours truly drinking her liver away for the past 4 nights. I rarely drink, let me preface this post by saying that, maybe once a week I'll have a few beers or a few glasses of wine but I never get drunk because 8 times out of 10 my acid reflux comes from the depths of my stomach and esophagus to incinerate my chest. This weekend was one in a million and most of the reason I haven't updated much, (except for the other nights stoned/drunken ramblings).

Thursday night I had dinner at a co-workers. Blue Moon and Jack Daniels was present. I had a great time. Good food, good people. I stumbled home not long after my co-workers roommate put him to bed. I woke up Friday morning feeling like shit but when Bee came over we started taking shots of Jeager and headed over to "the boys" place (our ex-boyfriends are roommates, and yes the entertainment and irony is hilarious) where somewhere between deciding to go to Pizza Ring and a bottle of Canadian whiskey and a sip of Jameson I proceeded to get wasted and start wrestling boys. Sometime after that I ended up drinking a Corona in a strangers home and woke up with yet another mild hangover, sore as hell and with an awesome carpet-burn.

Saturday was Stupid Movie Saturday and I started drinking Evan Williams at about 2 P.M. Then I went out again to the boys where I don't remember much but Tony Hawk and a few joints and a bunch of random people. I woke up with a headache and took some Tylenol and felt better.

But this morning's hangover really takes the cake, as from about 9 A.M. to noon, I spent it hovered over the toilet drinking water and throwing it back up. I'll spare you the details but Bee did make the comment "Your puke looks like pee!" The night started out with a few Tecates someone left in the fridge from the weekend and quickly went back to Evan and shots and before you know it we're sitting downstairs on the bumper of a suburban trying to pee in the Republican's driveway across the street. While all that was happening we somehow ended up in another strangers (but neighbors!) home and smoking joints and exchanging numbers. I think I told them to come see me at work today. What was I thinking?

It was an awesome night and Bee and I exchanged stories of first kisses and lost romances and made a bunch of goals for the next year and our co-habitation (She moves in on the first of September!). But I think I'm back to smoking now, my liver needs some time off and your regularly scheduled programming will return after my stomach returns to normal.

I'm so fucked up.

The most blatant epiphany I've ever seen:

Brownies.

The firs time I ate a special brownie was in February of this past year. To help celebrate and to keep me calm I made brownies to eat before I got my first tattoo to help me relax (I have a needle phobia but loveeee body mods). Despite the fact that it took a lot of weed to make them, making them was pretty fun and eating them proved very satisfactory.

Brownies make you stay higher for a lot longer though, so that's something to keep in mind if you ever make them. I find that it's much easier to use oil to cook the weed in instead of butter because butter is a lot easier to burn, which just releases the THC before you can eat it. I used this recipe I stumbled on a few years ago and it's seriously the best: http://applesoft.com/brownies but they won't turn out well if you're at all impatient because you will burn the oil/butter. Bottom line: Patience is a virtue, or something.

I also highly recommend investing the gold coffee filter if you're going to make them more than once. Straining was such a pain the in ass cause I didn't want to eat the shake. Some people say it makes you higher, but I mean, you're cooking the THC out of it, so I don't know why you'd eat it. I have these friends, who we'll call Bear and Conejo, and they both eat the paper from the cupcakes. It's almost as bad as those kids who eat glue, but to each their own. Bottom line: Eat the shake if you and put them in cupcake liners if you're a freak and like to eat the paper too.

I would definitely make brownies again, but I'd have to have a special occasion, I can't really see myself sitting around eating brownies, watching a movie, like I do now. Seems like a waste.

Over in the Corpus Corner, only 16 more days. What am I going to do with myself? I can't think about this now, I need caffeine.

MKO.

When I was about 6 I rented How The West Was Fun starring the Olsen twins and my life was never the same. I made a tee-pee in my room and made a sign like the one they had and got a little leather purse like they had and wore my hair in braids every day for months. Well, the Olsen twins are no longer out-smarting bad guys on ranches and I find watching a pair of twins finish each other sentences annoying but it seems we've grown up together and closer than ever as my favorite Olsen twin, Mary Kate Olsen has parts in my favorite movie and show of the summer so far.



Although she's no longer appearing in the show anymore, Weeds is one of my all time favorite shows and I think her addition to the show in the last season was a good choice. She plays the extremist religious stoner well. I bet she tokes up on the regular.



In the Sundance Film The Wackness (with Josh from Drake and Josh having sex!) she appears again as an extremist hippie stoner, and she makes out with Ben Kingsley, which is kinda gross but kind of hot. Either way, eat a brownie and check out this movie and then go home, eat another brownie and listen to the dope ass soundtrack.



In addition to her being a straight up ganja babe, I also like MK cause she really stands out in young hollywood, she went through the whole eating disorder thing and came out like a champ and has managed not to get any DUI's or dance on any table tops without panties. And she's so goddamned fashionably innovative.

Age and Smoking.

"Do you ever think you'll stop?"

I don't know. I know I'll stop when I don't want to smoke anymore. If I needed to, I would. I know older people who smoke and are getting along just fine it seems. Most people say definitely when they have kids. That would be their stopping point. Well, I don't ever want to give birth, but if I did adopt a child I'd probably have to get it this book: http://www.justaplant.com/. It's supposed to help you explain your marijuana use to your kids.

One of my cousins aunts was always walking around with her 'little cigarettes' high as a kite unbeknownst to me and just a few months ago a non-smoking friend of mine mistook the smell of marijuana for what her parents used to call their "sweet tobacco'. I think it's becoming more commonplace, and the older I get the more I realize how many smoking adults there are. I wish my mom smoked! It would be so cool to be high with her. I'd want to see her laugh, she has an awesome laugh.

18 more days until Corpus. Oh, sweet, cheap, weed. I can almost smell you. And I can definitely smell some of my hometown stoner favorites. Like Hurb's Burgers, Chick-fil-A, Whataburger and Agua Java. Mmmmm.

Mexican Sweat.

Growing up in south Texas we used to play a game we called "mexican sweat." Living in Massachusetts, northerners who play it, tend to call it "chicago-ing." I will never call it anything but mexican sweat. Basically, when you play, you just hold it in until the rotation comes back to you. It's actually, a lot harder than it sounds, especially if you're in a large rotation, but it can get you reallllly high.

First person to let it go and start coughing is deemed the pansy and made fun of. It's actually pretty fun. I used to love playing with my friends in the pool in my backyard in the middle of summer. I actually, kind of miss that, and miss Corpus right now. I'm sure that will change once I get there, but hopefully I can get and ounce and not really have to think about being there. My home town makes me really sad, it's just full of really weird cycles, it was so systematic and stagnant. And mostly I couldn't stand driving over that fucking bridge anymore.

When I was about 8 I think (I don't actually know how old I was because no one talks about it) my dad attempted suicide. He jumped off the Harbor Bridge in downtown Corpus Christi. Awesome. Lucky for the bastard, he's one of a handful of the large number of people who have attempted suicide on that bridge to survive. Still, as you can imagine, things were kinda rough and sad, and painful, wah wah. So I don't like Corpus. It's one big stressor in my life.

Count-down to Corpus starts now, only 19 more days. I can feel my back tensing up. But when I come back I get to start packing, and I get to start moving and my bee will move in, and it will be grand. And most importantly, school will start. So I can stop smoking all day and do something productive. I love school. I want to try to up my GPA so I can get on the Dean's List by next fall. I have a 3.4 now, I need to have a 3.7. I also want to get a boyfriend. I need to move on from old lovers.

I'm feeling vulnerable so I'm going to go, but, goodnight!

Favorite things.

The other morning after a particularly bad bout of insomnia I ventured out hoping to smoke, fill my belly and go back to sleep. I knew just what would knock me back out. The McGriddle. Oh god. So good. It's got buns of pancakes! Sausage. Not bacon, I hate Mcdonald's bacon. Anyways, to compliment, I had a decaf short cinnamon dolce latte. Mmmm.



As I was walking in the rain the other day I noticed a beautiful bird hiding on my neighbors home. I thought it was a Robin, but was informed that it was actually an Oriel. EDIT: While high, Conejo and his rommates are not the ones to ask about birds. I have been informed that this is a Cardinal. Who would have known? We didn't have pretty birds like that in my hometown.



And lastly, but not least, actually, my most favorite, my window. I can sit here for hours and watch the rain and the people going by on the bike path, smoking bowl after bowl and perusing fashion websites. My two favorite activities are lounging in my window and drinking tea in my window. People watching calms me.



Oh yeah, I used to be really into photography. I keep trying to get back into it, but I think I just broke my camera. I may just splurge on a Nikon D40 around Christmas. My ex love used to say that he loved seeing the world through my eyes, and I realized I really like showing people. Should I add more pictures to this blog? Would my (few) readers please tell me if this is a bad idea and I'm being narcissistic. Leave me a comment and let me know, you don't have to have a blogger account, and it can run through you LJ username if you use the openid feature.