The best thing that's ever happened to me.

I learned how to roll a tulip joint. And I have to show you. It's super easy, easier than a regular joint and will get you SUPER high. I've never smoked one by myself, and I imagine if I did I would immediately fall asleep/eat a whole pizza and fries and my kitchen and go into a coma. Try this at home, adults!



This tulip joint has been at the core of my laziness and sleepiness. We're off to Austin on Saturday! Hopefully I can blog on the road.

How to roll a joint.

Last week a commenter asked for a how-to on joint rolling. Well, I tried to make my own but realized 1) I'm not very good at rolling joints and 2) My voice sounds terrible on video when I'm high. So over the past few days I've been keeping an eye out for good tutorials on rolling a joint and I found one that appears to be from a Canadian version of SNL? I dunno. Any Canadian readers out there? Anyways, it's pretty hilarious and it seems to get the job done right. It takes a lot of practice. I sat in bed and rolled like 8 joints this morning, some people think it's easier to roll using a dollar bill around the paper to keep it in, but I tried both ways and didn't really see a difference.

How to Roll a Joint by Pierre Berton

In other news this Corpus weed is putting me to sleep. I get ridiculously tired and have been going to bed at like 12:30. Not to mention, I still feel like I'm on Boston time. These mosquitos are also annoyingly cramping my lifestyle because every time I go outside to smoke they attack me. Can I go back to Boston now please? Ugh.

Oh and yesterday was fucking awesome. Sandy and my cousin and I went to see Step Brothers at the ghetto theater yesterday. We had a blast! We each smoked our own joint on the way to the movie theater and then another one one the way back to my house to eat dinner and totally geeked out in like when we asked for 6 hot dogs and again in the theater when I was silently laughing and breathing weird and holding my hot dog weird. yeah. Amazing. I just thought it was 12:30, but realized it's 11:30. I'm going to take a nap. brb.

Social Butterfly?

I can't go out high. I can't socialize, I get paranoid people don't like me, and I eat myself silly in the corner and go home and munch out some more. Last night I smoked before leaving my place and going out and I kept freaking out thinking I was going too early (I was early, but it totally didn't matter), and that people on the T were talking about me (but I mean, dressed the way I was I can understand it). The last time I went to a party high I left after like an hour and a drink and went home and watched Blue Planet. Wtf is up with my life?

As soon as I started drinking I felt a lot better, calmed my nerves or whatever. I'm finding that by smoking as a sort of night-cap, get-sober activity I feel a lot better in the morning and I make more friends! Last night was no exception, smoking a joint after drinking that bottle of Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio was a godsend. Not to mention, it really brings people together. I've met a lot of really cool people who smoke lately and it's helping me improve my social skills and my social life about 100%. I'm making more plans and going out a bit more and I'm really enjoying myself.

Last night I remember sucking down a joint with this computer kid I know. We stood out on the front steps in the rain and talked about pot and whatever. A cop car drove by. I couldn't stop laughing. When we got back upstairs the mood was super intense (I think people were about to fight or something silly). I was still laughing. Keep the peace, you know? I wish I could have shoved the joint in their mouth. Sometimes all these drunk fucks need is a little weed.