Act Like a Lady.

 In case you didn't know, Lady Stoners are everywhere. Aside from me being one of the greatest (yeah, I'm full of myself) I know quite a few ladies who feel the same way as I do about marijuana. Which, apparently, society thinks is pretty unladylike. For a long time, stoner culture has revolved around Jay & Silent Bob, rappers like Biggie and Tupac, and Josh from Clueless. But in modern women's stoner culture, weed plays a different role. Now, weed is not my life (obviously, cause I don't have enough readers here to earn money from it) but it has a huge role in my life.

My number one thing to do while high is shop. Online or in the store, I'm blazing before I'm buying. I always pick out the best stuff and create the best outfits when I'm high. I have an obsession with Juicy Couture Jewelry (additional 40% off!) and shoes, and the Gap. I love the Gap. Mostly cause they make size 00 and I'm a scrawny little thing. Last week I stopped at Juicy to check out the sale and I bought an orange studded leather cuff. The next week, I went back and bought one in every color AND a blazer. Yeah.  On September 13th Missoni launches their Missoni for Target line and you bet your sweet ass that I will be online at midnight trolling for goodies. I may even pop into the store when it opens on the 13th, but I'll probably have to fight a bitch. When I'm not shopping, I'm thinking about shopping. Or reading about shopping. In addition to my normal magazines, I read The House of Gucci as well as Deluxe: How Luxury Lost it's Luster. The latter really opened my mind to the quality and production of goods, a good read if you're into fashion, marketing, or craftsmanship. The rest of my summer reading list are a stack of various September issues. I love magazines. 

Another one of my Lady Stoner activities is cooking. Mostly just to enjoy whatever I've made at the end, but sometimes I have to look at the fridge and come up with something to feed myself. When I was in high school I had three very good 'stoner' (I really don't like the negative connotation of that word) friends. Pretty much every day would be spent in my back yard, swimming, smoking, and making up straight up ridiculous shit. Now, one of those 'stoners' is another Lady Stoner. Perhaps for me, the greatest smoking partner to ever live (except, her house was always really cold and never had good snacks, sorry girl.) She and I spent hours in the pool, even if I was just sitting on the edge because there were no lines in the pool (a story for another time), we'd be there making up games and talking about how Nutella is the spread of the Gods and the only good thing to come out of New Jersey. Swimming really builds up an appetite, and I have some ridiculous stories and recipes that when I type them out, just don't make sense. One invented recipe has withstood the test of time, and if I had a microwave... oh, man. I wish I could remember how we came up with that name. Anyhow, here's the recipe, just try it on.

Spidels

Eggo Cinnamon Toast Waffles
Butter
Marshmallows
Cinnamon/Sugar

Prepare Eggo's according to the directions on the box
Place marshmallows on top and microwave until melted
Sprinkle with Cinnamon Sugar, Sprinkles, or whatever sweet topping you have
DEVOUR.

Now you can leave them pizza style or you can separate the mini-toasts and make a little sandwich out of it.

In my next post... More about Lady Stoners, Interviews with a few Lady Stoners and of course, more weed.

Stay Stoned ♥

As you can tell by the little pot leafs, my summer has been pretty full. I went all the way to Tennessee on the Greyhound to get to Bonnaroo where I smoked hella weed. Then to Austin, Corpus, San Marcos, Boston, Agawam, Chelmsford, Richmond, NYC for 2 hours, and a million places in between. It was one hell of an adventure but now it's pretty much over.







That was pretty much Austin. Tons of drugs, tons of pot, some art, and my favorite friends and their zany ways. Sandy, Marquise, and Yakob, you complete me. The main reason of this post is to show you the greatness of TRAYS. Get them basically anywhere, steal them from work (or in my case get silver plated ones from the Goodwill and keep all your shit on there. Papers, another tray for breaking it up, ashtray, blunts, lighters. It's one of God's gift to stoners. Yakob's (pictured) was from his school. He said they were going to throw them away and snagged a bunch of them. Seriously, get a tray, your life will be so much better. The best part about these trays is that they're often flat enough to store under the couch or under the bed when not in use. Cause you know, being inconspicuous about my pot use is what I'm all about.

How to roll a joint.

Last week a commenter asked for a how-to on joint rolling. Well, I tried to make my own but realized 1) I'm not very good at rolling joints and 2) My voice sounds terrible on video when I'm high. So over the past few days I've been keeping an eye out for good tutorials on rolling a joint and I found one that appears to be from a Canadian version of SNL? I dunno. Any Canadian readers out there? Anyways, it's pretty hilarious and it seems to get the job done right. It takes a lot of practice. I sat in bed and rolled like 8 joints this morning, some people think it's easier to roll using a dollar bill around the paper to keep it in, but I tried both ways and didn't really see a difference.

How to Roll a Joint by Pierre Berton

In other news this Corpus weed is putting me to sleep. I get ridiculously tired and have been going to bed at like 12:30. Not to mention, I still feel like I'm on Boston time. These mosquitos are also annoyingly cramping my lifestyle because every time I go outside to smoke they attack me. Can I go back to Boston now please? Ugh.

Oh and yesterday was fucking awesome. Sandy and my cousin and I went to see Step Brothers at the ghetto theater yesterday. We had a blast! We each smoked our own joint on the way to the movie theater and then another one one the way back to my house to eat dinner and totally geeked out in like when we asked for 6 hot dogs and again in the theater when I was silently laughing and breathing weird and holding my hot dog weird. yeah. Amazing. I just thought it was 12:30, but realized it's 11:30. I'm going to take a nap. brb.

Fly like paper get high like planes.

My favorite place in the world to be high? (Besides curled up in my chaise lounge, reading a gook book...) The airport. For the last few years I've always gotten high before traveling and flying. People tell me I'm stupid with all the TSA regulations but I'm never holding, just high, so I don't see the harm in an extra-chill passenger.

I probably would have flipped the fuck out at the crazy check-in line if I hadn't have been high. I almost didn't make my flight. I constantly have to be conscious of my anxiety in places like airports with large congregations of people because it's really easy for me to become flustered or overwhelmed. I got through security with no problems despite the fact that I didn't have a plastic bag for my liquids, (but FYI if you're wearing door-knocker earrings they will set off the metal detector) and got on the plane and passed out for the whole first part of my flight. I'm in Philadelphia now, tired as fuck and just had a wonderful munchies session.

That's the other wonderful thing about the airport, SNACKS. My first stop was Chick-Fil-A, could you think of anything better? I ordered a chicken biscuit (It's still too early for lunch) and a medium lemonade. Nom, nom, nom. After that I strolled over to Sabarro and got a large caesar salad and I'm eyeing a Philadelphia pretzel from the cart across the way. Hopefully all this food will put me to sleep so I don't have to endure the next 5 hours sitting in that tiny plane. Maybe I'll watch The Wackness again on my laptop, I can't get enough of that movie for some reason.

Anyways, In about seven hours I'll be with my pot smoking family and my perma-baked Sandy sitting in the pool sipping on a Blue Moon, hopefully. Let's hope for the best shall we? I'm picking up an ounce as soon as I roll into the Dub C and this week I'm hoping to put together that joint-rolling tutorial (or at least find the best one out there), muse about having a stoner family, and my favorite things to do while stoned in the pool. Expect inside jokes, copious amounts of weed and hopefully lots of pictures.

Who is wrong?

I remember the stillness of the road, the satisfying feeling from pulling through the drive thru, and never being able to take my sunglasses off. I love driving around my hometown smoking a joint and stopping at my favorite taco stand. Sandy and I have made countless trips to Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, Taco Bell, whatever. The best part is trying to order, haha.

Back during the summer before and after my senior year I used to smoke and drive a lot. Some people will say that it's completely wrong, and is just like driving drunk. However, I see nothing wrong with it, as it rarely impairs my ability to drive and studies have shown that while reaction time is slightly slower, perception and awareness are heightened. You can beat both sides of the issue to death, but I think it's really important to remember that drugs react differently with each and every person, and your experiences with smoking are most likely not the same as another's.

That said, if you're ever at Sonic, get the Stoner Special, Sandy and I created it one day after a hot, stoned afternoon, in my pool. The Stoner Special consists of:
-2 Tacos
-1 Route 44 Lemon Berry Slush
-medium chili cheese fries
-1 banana split with caramel all across the way!
-1 snack side order of popcorn chicken

Try it, seriously.

I've found it!

If you're like me, you anticipate being hungry or thirsty and eat while smoking. I usually end up satisfied, but smoking always ruins the flavor of whatever I'm eating or drinking.

Not anymore! When I got off of work today at an unnamed coffeshop and I came home and started smoking I realized my iced venti no syrup green tea lemonade actually tasted better with the flavor of pot. Can you imagine that? I immediately called my best friend Sandy, (the only other person I know who smokes more than I do) and excitedly told her my discovery.

Do you know what she told me? She hates tea. Who hates tea? Either way, you should try it out, not only is it utterly delicious and refreshing (I've had 4 today, refills are only $ 0.53) but it has made smoking a little more enjoyable (I didn't think that was possible) but watch out, it has more caffeine than you would think. I had some pretty late the other day and didn't go to sleep til 4 A.M.