Act Like a Lady.

 In case you didn't know, Lady Stoners are everywhere. Aside from me being one of the greatest (yeah, I'm full of myself) I know quite a few ladies who feel the same way as I do about marijuana. Which, apparently, society thinks is pretty unladylike. For a long time, stoner culture has revolved around Jay & Silent Bob, rappers like Biggie and Tupac, and Josh from Clueless. But in modern women's stoner culture, weed plays a different role. Now, weed is not my life (obviously, cause I don't have enough readers here to earn money from it) but it has a huge role in my life.

My number one thing to do while high is shop. Online or in the store, I'm blazing before I'm buying. I always pick out the best stuff and create the best outfits when I'm high. I have an obsession with Juicy Couture Jewelry (additional 40% off!) and shoes, and the Gap. I love the Gap. Mostly cause they make size 00 and I'm a scrawny little thing. Last week I stopped at Juicy to check out the sale and I bought an orange studded leather cuff. The next week, I went back and bought one in every color AND a blazer. Yeah.  On September 13th Missoni launches their Missoni for Target line and you bet your sweet ass that I will be online at midnight trolling for goodies. I may even pop into the store when it opens on the 13th, but I'll probably have to fight a bitch. When I'm not shopping, I'm thinking about shopping. Or reading about shopping. In addition to my normal magazines, I read The House of Gucci as well as Deluxe: How Luxury Lost it's Luster. The latter really opened my mind to the quality and production of goods, a good read if you're into fashion, marketing, or craftsmanship. The rest of my summer reading list are a stack of various September issues. I love magazines. 

Another one of my Lady Stoner activities is cooking. Mostly just to enjoy whatever I've made at the end, but sometimes I have to look at the fridge and come up with something to feed myself. When I was in high school I had three very good 'stoner' (I really don't like the negative connotation of that word) friends. Pretty much every day would be spent in my back yard, swimming, smoking, and making up straight up ridiculous shit. Now, one of those 'stoners' is another Lady Stoner. Perhaps for me, the greatest smoking partner to ever live (except, her house was always really cold and never had good snacks, sorry girl.) She and I spent hours in the pool, even if I was just sitting on the edge because there were no lines in the pool (a story for another time), we'd be there making up games and talking about how Nutella is the spread of the Gods and the only good thing to come out of New Jersey. Swimming really builds up an appetite, and I have some ridiculous stories and recipes that when I type them out, just don't make sense. One invented recipe has withstood the test of time, and if I had a microwave... oh, man. I wish I could remember how we came up with that name. Anyhow, here's the recipe, just try it on.

Spidels

Eggo Cinnamon Toast Waffles
Butter
Marshmallows
Cinnamon/Sugar

Prepare Eggo's according to the directions on the box
Place marshmallows on top and microwave until melted
Sprinkle with Cinnamon Sugar, Sprinkles, or whatever sweet topping you have
DEVOUR.

Now you can leave them pizza style or you can separate the mini-toasts and make a little sandwich out of it.

In my next post... More about Lady Stoners, Interviews with a few Lady Stoners and of course, more weed.

Stay Stoned ♥

Wow, Almost a year!

It's been too long. So many marijuana developments! I bought a vaporizer, an Herbal Aire and I pretty much love it. I noticed a dramatic change in my lungs and a lingering smokers cough was gone within a week. It's temperature is extremely accurate, it doesn't need much upkeep, just replacing the tubing here and there and wiping resin from the mouthpiece and crucible. I use it so often! And it's small so I can take it to friends house's and it really has no smell. Perfect for smoking indoors!

I also went from smoking an eighth a week to a quarter. What happened there? I'll admit though, it's slowing me down a little in class, I can't smoke on my break. I've got to stop it! Just before bed, and maybe at breakfast, haha. It helps me eat breakfast which I think eventually helps me focus better during the day.

Not much else, having my quarter-life-crisis with my impending graduation only months away. People keep asking me what I'm going to do and it's overwhelming. So, I'm still crazy but coping. It helps that the boyfriend is here for a bit to get me going. It's been fun to have him around, and while I haven't been making a bunch of money because of cuts at my new job selling old lady clothes, it's okay, because A) I make more money and B) I get to hang out with said boyfriend.

I'm not sure what else to say, I smoked some kush (initials RP I think? My friend couldn't remember the name but it was written on the bag) and it smelled a little like the combo of a sushi plate with wasabi and soy sauce. But it was amazing. And it made the Potato Bacon Cheddar Spring Rolls and Boston Beer Works freaking phenomenal. Will definitely be going back for more.

That's it.

I'm out of pot. And I have no money (Well, I have some money, but I need to pay my bills). I knew this time was going to come.

I smoked the last of my stash last night with the Italian and ordered the most amazing/disgusting hawaiian pizza from Domino's. They have this ingenious little tracker that tells you exactly where your pizza is and who the fuck is handling it.



The Italian was amazed by this little piece of American ingenuity. Or maybe he was just high. Either way, we watched that tacker like a hawk and when it arrived we demolished that shit in like 10 minutes flat. Not bad, eh?

For this, I think Domino's deserves a Toker's Choice Award despite the fact that their pizza isn't really that good, but when you're high, who cares right?

The best thing that's ever happened to me.

I learned how to roll a tulip joint. And I have to show you. It's super easy, easier than a regular joint and will get you SUPER high. I've never smoked one by myself, and I imagine if I did I would immediately fall asleep/eat a whole pizza and fries and my kitchen and go into a coma. Try this at home, adults!



This tulip joint has been at the core of my laziness and sleepiness. We're off to Austin on Saturday! Hopefully I can blog on the road.

Fly like paper get high like planes.

My favorite place in the world to be high? (Besides curled up in my chaise lounge, reading a gook book...) The airport. For the last few years I've always gotten high before traveling and flying. People tell me I'm stupid with all the TSA regulations but I'm never holding, just high, so I don't see the harm in an extra-chill passenger.

I probably would have flipped the fuck out at the crazy check-in line if I hadn't have been high. I almost didn't make my flight. I constantly have to be conscious of my anxiety in places like airports with large congregations of people because it's really easy for me to become flustered or overwhelmed. I got through security with no problems despite the fact that I didn't have a plastic bag for my liquids, (but FYI if you're wearing door-knocker earrings they will set off the metal detector) and got on the plane and passed out for the whole first part of my flight. I'm in Philadelphia now, tired as fuck and just had a wonderful munchies session.

That's the other wonderful thing about the airport, SNACKS. My first stop was Chick-Fil-A, could you think of anything better? I ordered a chicken biscuit (It's still too early for lunch) and a medium lemonade. Nom, nom, nom. After that I strolled over to Sabarro and got a large caesar salad and I'm eyeing a Philadelphia pretzel from the cart across the way. Hopefully all this food will put me to sleep so I don't have to endure the next 5 hours sitting in that tiny plane. Maybe I'll watch The Wackness again on my laptop, I can't get enough of that movie for some reason.

Anyways, In about seven hours I'll be with my pot smoking family and my perma-baked Sandy sitting in the pool sipping on a Blue Moon, hopefully. Let's hope for the best shall we? I'm picking up an ounce as soon as I roll into the Dub C and this week I'm hoping to put together that joint-rolling tutorial (or at least find the best one out there), muse about having a stoner family, and my favorite things to do while stoned in the pool. Expect inside jokes, copious amounts of weed and hopefully lots of pictures.

Favorite things.

The other morning after a particularly bad bout of insomnia I ventured out hoping to smoke, fill my belly and go back to sleep. I knew just what would knock me back out. The McGriddle. Oh god. So good. It's got buns of pancakes! Sausage. Not bacon, I hate Mcdonald's bacon. Anyways, to compliment, I had a decaf short cinnamon dolce latte. Mmmm.



As I was walking in the rain the other day I noticed a beautiful bird hiding on my neighbors home. I thought it was a Robin, but was informed that it was actually an Oriel. EDIT: While high, Conejo and his rommates are not the ones to ask about birds. I have been informed that this is a Cardinal. Who would have known? We didn't have pretty birds like that in my hometown.



And lastly, but not least, actually, my most favorite, my window. I can sit here for hours and watch the rain and the people going by on the bike path, smoking bowl after bowl and perusing fashion websites. My two favorite activities are lounging in my window and drinking tea in my window. People watching calms me.



Oh yeah, I used to be really into photography. I keep trying to get back into it, but I think I just broke my camera. I may just splurge on a Nikon D40 around Christmas. My ex love used to say that he loved seeing the world through my eyes, and I realized I really like showing people. Should I add more pictures to this blog? Would my (few) readers please tell me if this is a bad idea and I'm being narcissistic. Leave me a comment and let me know, you don't have to have a blogger account, and it can run through you LJ username if you use the openid feature.

Who is wrong?

I remember the stillness of the road, the satisfying feeling from pulling through the drive thru, and never being able to take my sunglasses off. I love driving around my hometown smoking a joint and stopping at my favorite taco stand. Sandy and I have made countless trips to Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, Taco Bell, whatever. The best part is trying to order, haha.

Back during the summer before and after my senior year I used to smoke and drive a lot. Some people will say that it's completely wrong, and is just like driving drunk. However, I see nothing wrong with it, as it rarely impairs my ability to drive and studies have shown that while reaction time is slightly slower, perception and awareness are heightened. You can beat both sides of the issue to death, but I think it's really important to remember that drugs react differently with each and every person, and your experiences with smoking are most likely not the same as another's.

That said, if you're ever at Sonic, get the Stoner Special, Sandy and I created it one day after a hot, stoned afternoon, in my pool. The Stoner Special consists of:
-2 Tacos
-1 Route 44 Lemon Berry Slush
-medium chili cheese fries
-1 banana split with caramel all across the way!
-1 snack side order of popcorn chicken

Try it, seriously.

I've found it!

If you're like me, you anticipate being hungry or thirsty and eat while smoking. I usually end up satisfied, but smoking always ruins the flavor of whatever I'm eating or drinking.

Not anymore! When I got off of work today at an unnamed coffeshop and I came home and started smoking I realized my iced venti no syrup green tea lemonade actually tasted better with the flavor of pot. Can you imagine that? I immediately called my best friend Sandy, (the only other person I know who smokes more than I do) and excitedly told her my discovery.

Do you know what she told me? She hates tea. Who hates tea? Either way, you should try it out, not only is it utterly delicious and refreshing (I've had 4 today, refills are only $ 0.53) but it has made smoking a little more enjoyable (I didn't think that was possible) but watch out, it has more caffeine than you would think. I had some pretty late the other day and didn't go to sleep til 4 A.M.