Sunday, August 31, 2008

Hello allll.

So I'm slightly drunk thanks to my fabulous new roommate and sitting in my Unnamed Coffee Shop where I work taking advantage of the free internet for us lowly employees. I can't type for shit right now.

Can I tell you what really grinds my gears? Fucking not having a steady dealer. My old guy 'isn't selling anymore' and between moving in and shit I can't find the time to get over to my temporary replacement dealer across town. And I realllllly want to buy from him. Not only for my sake, but for his. He's a new friends boyfriend and just lost his job. (BTW, it's fucking freezing in here and I'm shivering drinking some green tea lemonade freezing my nips off, it's kinda hot). I need someone who always has stock, knows his shit and is nice enough that he will never rip me off. But never fear! College is near again! And my old dealers and good friends are coming back into town. One of my old dealers actually smoked me out last night, which was FABULOUS. He's such a nice guy. And of course I was joint-rolling queen of the night. You'll be amazed at how many self-proclaimed "stoners" don't know how to roll a joint. Jesus.

Well, in addition to smoking I drank a whole bottle of wine and made out with a gay guy who tried to convince me he was straight. Really fucked me up, you know? But, yet another reason why I like pot better, I have no desire to make out with gay men or do anything but eat. Anyways, sorry this post sucks. I'm so out of my element here. I don't have internet in my apartment lately (we had to return the old router Friday and are getting hooked up Tuesday, so sorry for this crappy post but I want to update everyone and say that Blazing Life will be back in full swing on Tuesday with a music review and some other things I've been thinking up. Stay Stoned, y'all.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

As you can tell by the little pot leafs, my summer has been pretty full. I went all the way to Tennessee on the Greyhound to get to Bonnaroo where I smoked hella weed. Then to Austin, Corpus, San Marcos, Boston, Agawam, Chelmsford, Richmond, NYC for 2 hours, and a million places in between. It was one hell of an adventure but now it's pretty much over.

That was pretty much Austin. Tons of drugs, tons of pot, some art, and my favorite friends and their zany ways. Sandy, Marquise, and Yakob, you complete me. The main reason of this post is to show you the greatness of TRAYS. Get them basically anywhere, steal them from work (or in my case get silver plated ones from the Goodwill and keep all your shit on there. Papers, another tray for breaking it up, ashtray, blunts, lighters. It's one of God's gift to stoners. Yakob's (pictured) was from his school. He said they were going to throw them away and snagged a bunch of them. Seriously, get a tray, your life will be so much better. The best part about these trays is that they're often flat enough to store under the couch or under the bed when not in use. Cause you know, being inconspicuous about my pot use is what I'm all about.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Blazing Life proudly presents:

The Tokers Choice award! I'm going to be giving these out periodically for exceptional ease of service (cause it's already hard enough to move when you're high), superior comfortability, doesn't require much effort, or in todays case: access to munchies. I'm proud to present Jet Blue Airlines with the first Tokers Choice award!

We all know how much I love getting high and going to the airport, but today I was running a little late and didn't get to make my food rounds at the terminals. I was bummed and hungry but lo and behold, a lovely vision in blue was coming towards me with a basket of snacks. Potato chips, key lime cookies, Munchies mix, biscotti, peanuts, pretzels, oh my! AND best of all, they had cans of Arizona Iced tea. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT!? Jet Blue rules. I got to watch Ellen as we landed and got in 3 good episodes of Haunted on the Discovery channel. Yeah, that's right, they have TV! With 39 cable channels!

I could actually stand up (a whopping 5'2", but still) without hitting my head, sleeping wasn't terribly uncomfortable, and my bag was the only one in the overhead bin. SO MUCH SPACE. I'm seriously impressed with their service. I'm going to try to fly Jet Blue as often as possible.

In other news, I'm going to put a little more effort into updating more timely and to help with that I am going to introduce a weekly special of music reviews. I'm thinking I'll update on Tuesdays, and basically get high and write music reviews. I'm not sure what to call it yet, suggestions? Also, if there's something you want to see more or less of on the blog let me know in the comments. If I'm going to put my time into it I want people to read and enjoy it.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Sorry about the hiatus, I've been super high lately. Texas has been a blast of schwag, emotion, blunts, joints, bongs and delicious sacks of ounce. I'm leaving Austin, Texas tomorrow and heading back to Boston. I'm really excited to go back and start redecorating my apartment and my bedroom. And to go back to school! Imagine that, a stoner who loves school! Whenever I smoke the OCD comes out in me and boy has it been put to good use lately! Some of my good friends from Texas Marquise and Yak just moved into a new apartment up here and I've been having fun getting high and helping them decorate and organize. I even folded Yak's underwear!

To help the OCD in me I recently bought the Palm Centro and switched to Sprint since it was basically free with my parents plan. Pretty sweet, huh? And it's pink. I really used to hate pink, but I'm starting to enjoy my femininity.

It's got a calendar, syncs with your computer (PC AND MAC!), has sudoku, custom ringtones, speakerphone and has this nifty application that lets you draw on pictures like in paint. The camera is pretty sweet too. I'll be posting pictures from it and my Austin trip in the coming week.

To help me out with my studies I got the new Schoolhouse application for Mac OS X. It helps you keep track of your schedule, online syllbi(is that the plural of syllabus?), notes,assignments, tests, and grades. I seriously have an addiction to planning and organizing. You can find it here: It has a few gliches in Mac OS X Leopard but if you read the site it tells you how to very easily fix it.

I can't wait to start school so I can get all the full benefits from it. I need to buy my books soon though. Ugh. The one downfall of September is the money it sucks from my savings account. We need more afforable education. But that's a rant for another day. Peace.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The best thing that's ever happened to me.

I learned how to roll a tulip joint. And I have to show you. It's super easy, easier than a regular joint and will get you SUPER high. I've never smoked one by myself, and I imagine if I did I would immediately fall asleep/eat a whole pizza and fries and my kitchen and go into a coma. Try this at home, adults!

This tulip joint has been at the core of my laziness and sleepiness. We're off to Austin on Saturday! Hopefully I can blog on the road.

Monday, August 18, 2008

How to roll a joint.

Last week a commenter asked for a how-to on joint rolling. Well, I tried to make my own but realized 1) I'm not very good at rolling joints and 2) My voice sounds terrible on video when I'm high. So over the past few days I've been keeping an eye out for good tutorials on rolling a joint and I found one that appears to be from a Canadian version of SNL? I dunno. Any Canadian readers out there? Anyways, it's pretty hilarious and it seems to get the job done right. It takes a lot of practice. I sat in bed and rolled like 8 joints this morning, some people think it's easier to roll using a dollar bill around the paper to keep it in, but I tried both ways and didn't really see a difference.

In other news this Corpus weed is putting me to sleep. I get ridiculously tired and have been going to bed at like 12:30. Not to mention, I still feel like I'm on Boston time. These mosquitos are also annoyingly cramping my lifestyle because every time I go outside to smoke they attack me. Can I go back to Boston now please? Ugh.

Oh and yesterday was fucking awesome. Sandy and my cousin and I went to see Step Brothers at the ghetto theater yesterday. We had a blast! We each smoked our own joint on the way to the movie theater and then another one one the way back to my house to eat dinner and totally geeked out in like when we asked for 6 hot dogs and again in the theater when I was silently laughing and breathing weird and holding my hot dog weird. yeah. Amazing. I just thought it was 12:30, but realized it's 11:30. I'm going to take a nap. brb.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Fly like paper get high like planes.

My favorite place in the world to be high? (Besides curled up in my chaise lounge, reading a gook book...) The airport. For the last few years I've always gotten high before traveling and flying. People tell me I'm stupid with all the TSA regulations but I'm never holding, just high, so I don't see the harm in an extra-chill passenger.

I probably would have flipped the fuck out at the crazy check-in line if I hadn't have been high. I almost didn't make my flight. I constantly have to be conscious of my anxiety in places like airports with large congregations of people because it's really easy for me to become flustered or overwhelmed. I got through security with no problems despite the fact that I didn't have a plastic bag for my liquids, (but FYI if you're wearing door-knocker earrings they will set off the metal detector) and got on the plane and passed out for the whole first part of my flight. I'm in Philadelphia now, tired as fuck and just had a wonderful munchies session.

That's the other wonderful thing about the airport, SNACKS. My first stop was Chick-Fil-A, could you think of anything better? I ordered a chicken biscuit (It's still too early for lunch) and a medium lemonade. Nom, nom, nom. After that I strolled over to Sabarro and got a large caesar salad and I'm eyeing a Philadelphia pretzel from the cart across the way. Hopefully all this food will put me to sleep so I don't have to endure the next 5 hours sitting in that tiny plane. Maybe I'll watch The Wackness again on my laptop, I can't get enough of that movie for some reason.

Anyways, In about seven hours I'll be with my pot smoking family and my perma-baked Sandy sitting in the pool sipping on a Blue Moon, hopefully. Let's hope for the best shall we? I'm picking up an ounce as soon as I roll into the Dub C and this week I'm hoping to put together that joint-rolling tutorial (or at least find the best one out there), muse about having a stoner family, and my favorite things to do while stoned in the pool. Expect inside jokes, copious amounts of weed and hopefully lots of pictures.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


I am an idiot.

I cut the top of my foot yesterday. It was a rather tragic incident. I was sitting on my bedroom floor, listening to records and scraping the resin out of my little glass bowl when all of a sudden, I must have scraped too hard because it fucking broke. It's still smokeable I think, because I broke the carb and the hole is still on the small side, but it's sad nonetheless. Anyways, I thought I had picked up all the glass and I put the resin into my other bowl, Coco Rose and start looking for a lighter. I roll over onto the tops of my feet to grab it and I feel the glass stick into the top of my foot. I had to pick it out and then it just started bleeding like a mother. I suck. But at least my feet are half-cute and my toe nails are a nice color (THNX CVS!).

Anyways, the moral of the story? Probably don't smoke resin, and if you're going to spend an hour scraping it out, be gentle with thin glass. I've been smoking resin cause I'm flat broke ($4.11 in my checking, $3 in cash, ballaaaa) and am just two days away from hopping on a plane and going to the underworld, so buying would be pointless. Smoking resin is probably really bad for you seeing as it's all tar basically, but it's 'double-brewed' as the bear called it last night, making it more potent and liable to put you right to sleep. I hadn't cleaned my pipe since I brought it back from Texas so I was able to scrape almost 4 bowls of resin from it. It's slightly gross and smells terrible but it gets the job done.

R.I.P. Little Glass Bonnaroo Baby Bowl. June 2008-August 2008. Little Glass Bonnaroo Baby Bowl was survived by a sister, Coco Rose, and of course, myself. She lived a short, but full life with the privilege of everything from schwag to dro. She will be missed.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It's all bullshit.

I went to the doctor this morning. They only scheduled me for a fifteen minute appointment (really? what the fuck?) and then told me to stop drinking and smoking pot and I'll be fine. Why would I quit smoking pot? It's my livelihood. Not to mention, It's the only thing that helps me fall asleep and actually eat a meal a day. She blamed the pot for my insomnia and idk what else and told me to see a therapist for my anxiety. TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW.

I've been seeing therapists for the last 13 years. It's all fucking bullshit. The Nurse Practitioner gave me a stronger dose of Prilosec after lying to me about not having anything stronger/better/that I hadn't tried before, ever heard of Nexium lady? I mean, it may not be for me, but it's definitely stronger. I've had acid reflux for 7 years, why do these people act like I don't know my shit?

Her overall recommendation: Keep up with the Prilosec, keep a sleep log, and later we'll talk about anxiety medication and the fact that I'm never hungry. She also said my nose piercing isn't infected, just swollen. Thanks lady!

Overall, pot is the thing that keeps me eating, sleeping somewhat normally and basically going, why must I stop? I'm thinking of doing my own research and handing it over to her or something. Maybe I can start a Coalition For Doctors Who Believe In Medical Marijuana. Then it'll make it so much easier for us smokers to get along in day to day life/actually be honest about our medical history. Should I just be blunt with this doctor and say "I'm not going to quit"? I mean, how far does doctor/patient confidentiality go? Does it cover excessive drug use?

According to a quick Google search and a little reading on HIPAA, it looks like there's no harm in being completely honest. I'm going to consider this an experiment. Honesty vs. Dishonesty, and do you get better care? I felt pretty belittled today at my appointment and I don't think I'm going to stand for it. What's the worst that could happen, right? I switch doctors? Big fuckin' deal. I've been to a million. My follow up appointment is September 3rd at 9:45 A.M. So expect an update on this situation soon.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Grow me the money.

I've been thinking about growing for a while now. I know it's a huge responsibility and what not, but I really think I can benefit from it and since I can't have a dog, it would be something nice to nurture/a cool project. I'd have maybe two plants I don't know if I actually have the balls to do it, because it looks pretty expensive and I'm terrible at Biology, (and you know, it's illegal and I have the worst luck ever) but it would be sweet, no?

I was poking around online today and found this:

HOW COOL RIGHT? Too bad it's way too small to grow any type of quality plant. I figure I can make a discreet grow fixture but I know it would probably run me a couple hundred dollars+ seeds and I'm a poor mexican. Not to mention, if I ever pissed off a roommate they could rat me out in a second.

I'd have to read a lot about growing too, I definitely am not knowledgeable about botany and biology and the plant itself. I learned a lot about Hemp and it's cultivation last semester but not so much strains and indoor growing conditions and such. Would any of you ever consider growing? Am I just way too stoned right now? Shit, pass the bowl...

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Yes, I know Bernie Mac died. Let's talk about dr

According to Wikipedia, "The word "joint" ultimately comes from French, where it is an adjective meaning "joined" (past participle of the verb joindre) derived from Latin junctus." And you thought the Statue of Liberty was a great contribution.

Lately, I've been all about the joints. Sure, I run through my supply more quickly, but since you have to keep it burning and keep hitting I get insanely high. My other favorite thing about smoking joints is rolling them. The act is so relaxing, breaking up the bud, picking out stems and the like and gently pressing and rolling the papers together, taking care not to tear the paper or let anything fall out. And of course, the blissful moment of satisfaction and knowing that soon, you'll be smoking your beautiful creation. Here I am smoking mine:

The other awesome thing about joints is that you can save all the roaches (too-short stub left after smoking) and smoke them later in a bowl. Roach bowls tend to get you a little higher since the resin has already built up inside of it and makes it more potent. My rolling papers of choice for the last few years have been Zig Zags. I remember the orange and gold packages very distinctly strewn across the master bedroom in my grandmothers home. I also remember finding a pack in the long-forgotten chest of junk drawers we had in our garage, they had to be at least 5-10 years old. I pocketed the ancient pack, and used them my last few months in Texas.

During those last few months, I went up to my uncle one day with those ancient papers and asked him to roll a joint for me. He told me to fill it and fold it and he would roll it. I obliged and almost immediately he handed back to me a perfectly rolled joint. Since that day it's been my goal to roll like that. I'm a decent roller, but it takes a minute or two for me to roll it right. One day though, I have high hopes.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Social Butterfly?

I can't go out high. I can't socialize, I get paranoid people don't like me, and I eat myself silly in the corner and go home and munch out some more. Last night I smoked before leaving my place and going out and I kept freaking out thinking I was going too early (I was early, but it totally didn't matter), and that people on the T were talking about me (but I mean, dressed the way I was I can understand it). The last time I went to a party high I left after like an hour and a drink and went home and watched Blue Planet. Wtf is up with my life?

As soon as I started drinking I felt a lot better, calmed my nerves or whatever. I'm finding that by smoking as a sort of night-cap, get-sober activity I feel a lot better in the morning and I make more friends! Last night was no exception, smoking a joint after drinking that bottle of Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio was a godsend. Not to mention, it really brings people together. I've met a lot of really cool people who smoke lately and it's helping me improve my social skills and my social life about 100%. I'm making more plans and going out a bit more and I'm really enjoying myself.

Last night I remember sucking down a joint with this computer kid I know. We stood out on the front steps in the rain and talked about pot and whatever. A cop car drove by. I couldn't stop laughing. When we got back upstairs the mood was super intense (I think people were about to fight or something silly). I was still laughing. Keep the peace, you know? I wish I could have shoved the joint in their mouth. Sometimes all these drunk fucks need is a little weed.

Monday, August 4, 2008


Quite possibly my favorite thing about smoking pot is that the only time I've ever been sick from is it when A) I over eat and puke and fall asleep or B) when I'm way too drunk (right around the intoxication level of 'the spins') and start chain-smoking joints.

This has been one topsy turvy weekend with the alcoholics in my life smoking pot all weekend and yours truly drinking her liver away for the past 4 nights. I rarely drink, let me preface this post by saying that, maybe once a week I'll have a few beers or a few glasses of wine but I never get drunk because 8 times out of 10 my acid reflux comes from the depths of my stomach and esophagus to incinerate my chest. This weekend was one in a million and most of the reason I haven't updated much, (except for the other nights stoned/drunken ramblings).

Thursday night I had dinner at a co-workers. Blue Moon and Jack Daniels was present. I had a great time. Good food, good people. I stumbled home not long after my co-workers roommate put him to bed. I woke up Friday morning feeling like shit but when Bee came over we started taking shots of Jeager and headed over to "the boys" place (our ex-boyfriends are roommates, and yes the entertainment and irony is hilarious) where somewhere between deciding to go to Pizza Ring and a bottle of Canadian whiskey and a sip of Jameson I proceeded to get wasted and start wrestling boys. Sometime after that I ended up drinking a Corona in a strangers home and woke up with yet another mild hangover, sore as hell and with an awesome carpet-burn.

Saturday was Stupid Movie Saturday and I started drinking Evan Williams at about 2 P.M. Then I went out again to the boys where I don't remember much but Tony Hawk and a few joints and a bunch of random people. I woke up with a headache and took some Tylenol and felt better.

But this morning's hangover really takes the cake, as from about 9 A.M. to noon, I spent it hovered over the toilet drinking water and throwing it back up. I'll spare you the details but Bee did make the comment "Your puke looks like pee!" The night started out with a few Tecates someone left in the fridge from the weekend and quickly went back to Evan and shots and before you know it we're sitting downstairs on the bumper of a suburban trying to pee in the Republican's driveway across the street. While all that was happening we somehow ended up in another strangers (but neighbors!) home and smoking joints and exchanging numbers. I think I told them to come see me at work today. What was I thinking?

It was an awesome night and Bee and I exchanged stories of first kisses and lost romances and made a bunch of goals for the next year and our co-habitation (She moves in on the first of September!). But I think I'm back to smoking now, my liver needs some time off and your regularly scheduled programming will return after my stomach returns to normal.