I can't go out high. I can't socialize, I get paranoid people don't like me, and I eat myself silly in the corner and go home and munch out some more. Last night I smoked before leaving my place and going out and I kept freaking out thinking I was going too early (I was early, but it totally didn't matter), and that people on the T were talking about me (but I mean, dressed the way I was I can understand it). The last time I went to a party high I left after like an hour and a drink and went home and watched Blue Planet. Wtf is up with my life?
As soon as I started drinking I felt a lot better, calmed my nerves or whatever. I'm finding that by smoking as a sort of night-cap, get-sober activity I feel a lot better in the morning and I make more friends! Last night was no exception, smoking a joint after drinking that bottle of Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio was a godsend. Not to mention, it really brings people together. I've met a lot of really cool people who smoke lately and it's helping me improve my social skills and my social life about 100%. I'm making more plans and going out a bit more and I'm really enjoying myself.
Last night I remember sucking down a joint with this computer kid I know. We stood out on the front steps in the rain and talked about pot and whatever. A cop car drove by. I couldn't stop laughing. When we got back upstairs the mood was super intense (I think people were about to fight or something silly). I was still laughing. Keep the peace, you know? I wish I could have shoved the joint in their mouth. Sometimes all these drunk fucks need is a little weed.