Wednesday, July 30, 2008


The firs time I ate a special brownie was in February of this past year. To help celebrate and to keep me calm I made brownies to eat before I got my first tattoo to help me relax (I have a needle phobia but loveeee body mods). Despite the fact that it took a lot of weed to make them, making them was pretty fun and eating them proved very satisfactory.

Brownies make you stay higher for a lot longer though, so that's something to keep in mind if you ever make them. I find that it's much easier to use oil to cook the weed in instead of butter because butter is a lot easier to burn, which just releases the THC before you can eat it. I used this recipe I stumbled on a few years ago and it's seriously the best: but they won't turn out well if you're at all impatient because you will burn the oil/butter. Bottom line: Patience is a virtue, or something.

I also highly recommend investing the gold coffee filter if you're going to make them more than once. Straining was such a pain the in ass cause I didn't want to eat the shake. Some people say it makes you higher, but I mean, you're cooking the THC out of it, so I don't know why you'd eat it. I have these friends, who we'll call Bear and Conejo, and they both eat the paper from the cupcakes. It's almost as bad as those kids who eat glue, but to each their own. Bottom line: Eat the shake if you and put them in cupcake liners if you're a freak and like to eat the paper too.

I would definitely make brownies again, but I'd have to have a special occasion, I can't really see myself sitting around eating brownies, watching a movie, like I do now. Seems like a waste.

Over in the Corpus Corner, only 16 more days. What am I going to do with myself? I can't think about this now, I need caffeine.

Monday, July 28, 2008


When I was about 6 I rented How The West Was Fun starring the Olsen twins and my life was never the same. I made a tee-pee in my room and made a sign like the one they had and got a little leather purse like they had and wore my hair in braids every day for months. Well, the Olsen twins are no longer out-smarting bad guys on ranches and I find watching a pair of twins finish each other sentences annoying but it seems we've grown up together and closer than ever as my favorite Olsen twin, Mary Kate Olsen has parts in my favorite movie and show of the summer so far.

Although she's no longer appearing in the show anymore, Weeds is one of my all time favorite shows and I think her addition to the show in the last season was a good choice. She plays the extremist religious stoner well. I bet she tokes up on the regular.

In the Sundance Film The Wackness (with Josh from Drake and Josh having sex!) she appears again as an extremist hippie stoner, and she makes out with Ben Kingsley, which is kinda gross but kind of hot. Either way, eat a brownie and check out this movie and then go home, eat another brownie and listen to the dope ass soundtrack.

In addition to her being a straight up ganja babe, I also like MK cause she really stands out in young hollywood, she went through the whole eating disorder thing and came out like a champ and has managed not to get any DUI's or dance on any table tops without panties. And she's so goddamned fashionably innovative.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Age and Smoking.

"Do you ever think you'll stop?"

I don't know. I know I'll stop when I don't want to smoke anymore. If I needed to, I would. I know older people who smoke and are getting along just fine it seems. Most people say definitely when they have kids. That would be their stopping point. Well, I don't ever want to give birth, but if I did adopt a child I'd probably have to get it this book: It's supposed to help you explain your marijuana use to your kids.

One of my cousins aunts was always walking around with her 'little cigarettes' high as a kite unbeknownst to me and just a few months ago a non-smoking friend of mine mistook the smell of marijuana for what her parents used to call their "sweet tobacco'. I think it's becoming more commonplace, and the older I get the more I realize how many smoking adults there are. I wish my mom smoked! It would be so cool to be high with her. I'd want to see her laugh, she has an awesome laugh.

18 more days until Corpus. Oh, sweet, cheap, weed. I can almost smell you. And I can definitely smell some of my hometown stoner favorites. Like Hurb's Burgers, Chick-fil-A, Whataburger and Agua Java. Mmmmm.

Mexican Sweat.

Growing up in south Texas we used to play a game we called "mexican sweat." Living in Massachusetts, northerners who play it, tend to call it "chicago-ing." I will never call it anything but mexican sweat. Basically, when you play, you just hold it in until the rotation comes back to you. It's actually, a lot harder than it sounds, especially if you're in a large rotation, but it can get you reallllly high.

First person to let it go and start coughing is deemed the pansy and made fun of. It's actually pretty fun. I used to love playing with my friends in the pool in my backyard in the middle of summer. I actually, kind of miss that, and miss Corpus right now. I'm sure that will change once I get there, but hopefully I can get and ounce and not really have to think about being there. My home town makes me really sad, it's just full of really weird cycles, it was so systematic and stagnant. And mostly I couldn't stand driving over that fucking bridge anymore.

When I was about 8 I think (I don't actually know how old I was because no one talks about it) my dad attempted suicide. He jumped off the Harbor Bridge in downtown Corpus Christi. Awesome. Lucky for the bastard, he's one of a handful of the large number of people who have attempted suicide on that bridge to survive. Still, as you can imagine, things were kinda rough and sad, and painful, wah wah. So I don't like Corpus. It's one big stressor in my life.

Count-down to Corpus starts now, only 19 more days. I can feel my back tensing up. But when I come back I get to start packing, and I get to start moving and my bee will move in, and it will be grand. And most importantly, school will start. So I can stop smoking all day and do something productive. I love school. I want to try to up my GPA so I can get on the Dean's List by next fall. I have a 3.4 now, I need to have a 3.7. I also want to get a boyfriend. I need to move on from old lovers.

I'm feeling vulnerable so I'm going to go, but, goodnight!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Favorite things.

The other morning after a particularly bad bout of insomnia I ventured out hoping to smoke, fill my belly and go back to sleep. I knew just what would knock me back out. The McGriddle. Oh god. So good. It's got buns of pancakes! Sausage. Not bacon, I hate Mcdonald's bacon. Anyways, to compliment, I had a decaf short cinnamon dolce latte. Mmmm.

As I was walking in the rain the other day I noticed a beautiful bird hiding on my neighbors home. I thought it was a Robin, but was informed that it was actually an Oriel. EDIT: While high, Conejo and his rommates are not the ones to ask about birds. I have been informed that this is a Cardinal. Who would have known? We didn't have pretty birds like that in my hometown.

And lastly, but not least, actually, my most favorite, my window. I can sit here for hours and watch the rain and the people going by on the bike path, smoking bowl after bowl and perusing fashion websites. My two favorite activities are lounging in my window and drinking tea in my window. People watching calms me.

Oh yeah, I used to be really into photography. I keep trying to get back into it, but I think I just broke my camera. I may just splurge on a Nikon D40 around Christmas. My ex love used to say that he loved seeing the world through my eyes, and I realized I really like showing people. Should I add more pictures to this blog? Would my (few) readers please tell me if this is a bad idea and I'm being narcissistic. Leave me a comment and let me know, you don't have to have a blogger account, and it can run through you LJ username if you use the openid feature.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

It's raining and I'm high and looking out my window onto the bike path and a woman with an umbrella and 3 small dogs in raincoats come waltzing through.

The stoner part is, I didn't actually notice that the dogs were wearing raincoats, nor did it strike me as unusual until long after they had escaped my view. But really, it was so cute! 3 little dogs, one was definitely a pug, in rain coats! In all primary colors with little collars and hoods!

Certainly brightens my day. And I've had a pretty shitty one too. As I was getting dressed for work I got into a fight with my best friend, and with it went my weekend plans. When I left for work it started pouring rain. I only live a short 3 minute walk to my job so I figured I would be okay, but somehow in that 3 minute walk to work my shoes and socks got soaked and the entire front of my work capris were wet. I worked my whole shift with wet shoes, which may have been why I dropped a stack of plates, spilled iced coffee all over the bar, dropped a half-full pitcher of frappucino base which fell right onto the floors I had just mopped. I would have been okay with that, but then my co-worker and I proceeded to kick 3 people out of the unnamed cafe at which I work. I got to use my mom voice today. I first yelled at this bum to stop fighting with some kid and then yelled at the kid and his friend for running around the cafe. No one who witnessed my yelling/kicking out gave me any shit. They must have seen the bad day all over my face. On my break I called my mom to vent and maybe get some sympathy, but she was still pissed because I told her I got my nose pierced on Tuesday. So she got after me and with the weight of it all I just kind of cried for a minute. When I got back on the floor not even sampling our new smoothie (which is my favorite thing in the world, ever to do at work) made me happier.

But I'll tell you what did make me happier. Getting off 10 minutes early, apologizing to my mom, and busting out the bong. I like saving smoking out of the bong for days like these. It makes smoking even more pleasant, cause I get to change up my routine.

I'm too high to keep typing. I lost my train of thought. But it's a good thing, because today has been so long, and shitty. I'm going to go watch a movie now.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Doctor, doctor!

I wish there was a directory of stoner friendly doctors. I'm having the hardest time finding a new primary care physician. I would love it if I didn't have a doctor who was going to blame all my problems on my pot smoking, and chide me for it. I do what I do, accept it and heal around it, doc!

Better yet, a doctor who would encourage me to smoke would be the best. Or! What if I get used in a study! haha, I'm such a nerd. I'm on my 4th bowl of the day, first since I got off work 20 minutes ago. I wasn't going to smoke before work, but it was the perfect day today. Absolutely perfect. I even got to use a blanket and sleep with clothes on last night. I was able to sip hot tea this morning without wanting to die, and I was not perpetually covered in sweat and reapplying deodorant.

It was sunny and about 72 with a lovely breeze. I sat near my window and smoked a bowl and had a cup of mint tea with a little honey. When I was walking home from work it was pouring rain. My hair is all gross and wet. It stopped though, of course, the second I got home and sat down and smoked a bowl.


Sunday, July 20, 2008


I'm all about setting goals, saving money and achieving your dreams. Especially when it comes to cool expensive shit. I just decided that I'm going to start saving up for a big christmas present to myself, either a nice high-er end designer bag, or a volcano. I can't choose! I think if I can't find a bag I really love I'm going to buy the Volcano. For those of you who don't know, the Volcano is an herbal vaporizer that heats pot to the exact temperature necessary to release the THC but not actually burn, cutting out toxins and tar. It costs about $550. This guy that lived across the hall from me my freshman year had one and I was the only other person (let alone, girl) who was allowed to load and operate it. I used to love smoking out of it, it's so clean, and you can hold it in longer.

It's so pretty. Hopefully I'll have this and a badass record player by christmas.

Friday, July 18, 2008


I could be out in the square right now at the ArtBeat Festival watching Freezepop. But I got high, and now I can't really go anywhere. I don't feel like getting up and it's way too hot to even THINK about putting clothes on. Earlier though, before I became a waste of energy, I got high and went to the Galleria to go shopping for work clothes. I hate shopping. Which is weird, because I love clothes, but I reallllly hate shopping. Too many people, and too much ugly bullshit. I also can't stand children. I'm a super quick shopper too. I know what I want/like and head straight for it. Anyways, Aerie by American Eagle has this a-list thing, where if you sign up they give you a free pair of panties. I didn't believe it was free, but it is, and they give you gifts with your card every Thursday. I doubt I'll go back (except maybe for my Birthday, cause they give you something special then) but free underwear!!!

I got these, they have little umbrellas! :

Also, my favorite thing to do when I'm high lately is It's pretty much a virtual closet, and you make outfits. It's super girlie of me, and I never like anything girlie, but it's so addicting! Try it!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Sleepy bear.

For as long as I can remember I have had bouts of insomnia. It happens most when my stress levels are higher, and smoking helps me relax and pass out. I went to bed around 2AM last night and woke up at 8AM. What the fuck? I hate waking up that early when I don't have to. To help me go back to sleep I decided to load a bowl and to do what I kindly refer to as a "wake and bake." I read a little bit of my book and was able to fall back asleep shortly after. I slept til noon. It felt glorious.

Some people may consider it pathetic, but it's really the best way to start the day. They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I'm never hungry at breakfast unless I've smoked. For some reason when I'm high I also pick out better clothes, so it's pretty win/win, you know?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

my first love.

For the last few years I have had one true, consistent love besides pot: music. I don't know what it is, but some CDs just grip me and demand my attention. Some call me an elitist, some call me critical, but I know what I like and know what I will not listen to. Music is one of the few things that makes me happier than being stoned/makes me happier when I am stoned.

One of my favorite bands is Okkervil River, and emotionally charged, sometimes acoustic, always awesome, Texas based band that pretty much holds the title for "Most Artists With Songs That May As Well Have Been Written About Me And My Life And My Feelings." Anyways, Okkervil River just planned a new album for release in the fall that I have been anxiously awaiting and today it was leaked.

I'm sitting here now with tears welling in my eyes, once again thinking, "This is my life." I don't know how they do it and I'm sure I use all of my good karma on it, but every time the repetitive cycle with my high school boyfriend ends they release a new album that somehow fits, and it comforts the hell out of me. It's such a nice reassurance. I don't know what I would do without these albums, probably cry less, but I mean, everyone needs a good cry, right?

Anyways, without further ado I present to you, The Stand-Ins: hxxp://


P.S. Best tracks: On Tour With Zykos, Calling And Not Calling My Ex, and Bruce Wayne Campbell Interviewed On The Roof Of The Chelsea Hotel, 1979.

Who is wrong?

I remember the stillness of the road, the satisfying feeling from pulling through the drive thru, and never being able to take my sunglasses off. I love driving around my hometown smoking a joint and stopping at my favorite taco stand. Sandy and I have made countless trips to Chick-fil-A, Whataburger, Taco Bell, whatever. The best part is trying to order, haha.

Back during the summer before and after my senior year I used to smoke and drive a lot. Some people will say that it's completely wrong, and is just like driving drunk. However, I see nothing wrong with it, as it rarely impairs my ability to drive and studies have shown that while reaction time is slightly slower, perception and awareness are heightened. You can beat both sides of the issue to death, but I think it's really important to remember that drugs react differently with each and every person, and your experiences with smoking are most likely not the same as another's.

That said, if you're ever at Sonic, get the Stoner Special, Sandy and I created it one day after a hot, stoned afternoon, in my pool. The Stoner Special consists of:
-2 Tacos
-1 Route 44 Lemon Berry Slush
-medium chili cheese fries
-1 banana split with caramel all across the way!
-1 snack side order of popcorn chicken

Try it, seriously.

Sunday, July 13, 2008


I called my dealer Friday, he was dry. Went by his place on Saturday, he was dry and now I just got off of work and am in severe need of a joint or a bowl, and he's still fucking dry. My stomach has been all out of whack since I woke up today and work was pretty busy/stressful so I'm pretty much trippin out now. And I have no one else to call since it's summer and about 30% of the population has left the city.

I hate not having weed. Almost as much as I hate when my dealers are dry. It really puts a damper on things, especially since most things I could think of to do involve smoking first and probably wouldn't be as enjoyable otherwise, for example, sitting in my kiddie pool. It's way hot, but I really can only stand sitting out there doing nothing if I'm high. It's pretty much the only way I can relax. Otherwise, I feel like I'm wasting time. I guess that's part of my anxiety.

Hopefully I can pick up tonight. --- I wrote that at like, 6 when I got off of work. It's 10:30 and I haven't picked up. Boo. Anyways, I made this, it's my 'stoner essentials'.

Clockwise from top, left: 1. Moleskine sketchbook, for notes, numbers, drawings and lists. I LOVE making lists. 2. BIC lighters, BIC work the best and they last the longest but people always try to steal them! 3. iPod Nano, Perfect for drowning out the sounds of assholes and conductors and crying children on the T (fun fact: mine is engraved with a Wrens lyric). 4. Sennheiser HD headphones, to drown out everything the earbuds won't. 5. Smoking kit, complete with Zig Zag (my uncle used them) rolling papers, and small, folding, wooden bowl, all tucked into my way-too-expensive Coach wristlet. 6. Smith's Rosebud Salve, can be used as a moisturizer, lip balm and hair pomade. 7. Sidekick 3, for further ignoring the people around me. The full keyboard kind of rules. 8. MAC Russian Red Matte lipstick: I wear it almost every day. I love it. It makes me look immediately dressed and awake, no matter how high I am. 9. A good book: Right now I'm reading Middlesex. 10. J'adore parfum, so I don't smell like reefer. 11. Ultra Fine Point sharpie (my favorite!). 12. Marc Jacobs sunglasses, gotta be stylin' you know? But in all seriousness, these shades are the bomb and say "I'm very serious business." while hiding my blood shot, tired eyes. 12. Burts Bees lip balm, the minty smell wakes me up. 13. 1/8th of some dank headies, obviously. 14. Rhoto Eye Drops, seriously, God's gift to stoners, it's like... bleach for your eyes, and it kind of burns, but it really gets you alert while getting the red out. 15. Canon S2IS, for taking pictures when I feel most creative. 16. Arizona iced tea, enough said. 17. And finally, to keep it all in, I have a knock off stam bag I bought online.

All these things help me really keep it together.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Before I go into details about my wonderful-turned-shiteous night let me tell you a little about myself.

My parents separated when I was about 4. My dad had a drug and alcohol problem, and despite once being a prominent lawyer, lost his license and most of his money. He cheated on my mom, evaded taxes, was in extreme debt, and his solution for things was to attempt suicide. Thankfully he's still with us, but while he was gone my mom and grandma did the best they could for me growing up, if I needed it I had it, and even things I didn't need I had. I remember coming home to lights or water being shut off, and almost losing our home.

Needless today, my childhood had a pretty big effect on me. I've been in and out of therapy for over 11 years now, but am really opposed to the idea of taking 'happy pills'. I also have pretty terrible acid reflux (which I also don't take medication for) and which, If I'm not careful can be really dangerous. Like last night. I had maybe 3 drinks, and was ready to smoke and retire for the night with my friend but my chest had other plans. It was like my stomach went up in flames. I barely got one good hit in before I knew it was going to be a long night. I just started throwing up and heaving. Once there was nothing left in my stomach, I kept heaving which made me feel like I was choking and sent me into a bit of a panic attack. My friend called a cab for me, but when I got downstairs he drove away. That caused my breathing to get a little shallow and messed up, so we had to just call an ambulance. Once I got to the hospital, they asked me a bunch of questions I had to struggle to answer and where I also discovered that my piece of shit sidekick 3 had erased all my phone numbers and texts and I couldn't remember my mom or my best friend's phone number, which made me even more freaked out and uncomfortable.

After they made me answer all those questions, they pretty much put me in a room til I fell asleep and when I woke up, they sent me home. Awesome. I really hope my insurance covers that ambulance ride, I know those aren't cheap and I haven't even told my mom I took one, cause I know she's going to worry about it too. Money has always been tight in this family, and it's one of my biggest stressors.

Typically to manage my anxiety and acid reflux I smoke. When I don't smoke my depression gets worse, I have no appetite, and get irritable easily. Smoking helps me stay calm and eat and for some reason, my acid reflux doesn't get bad when I eat while smoking. Ugh, for now though, I need to pick up and put this behind me, or I'm going to feel even worse about it.

Friday, July 11, 2008

"You look like you just woke up!" -coworker

This morning after my bff/future roommate Bee called me, I strolled down to the unnamed coffee shop in which I work to get a green tea lemonade. It was after 11 a.m. on my day off, so of course I was already stoned. I pretty much threw on some clothes and sunglasses and ran out the door. I didn't even put my contacts on.

So there I am squinting in the middle of the square trying to see if cars are coming or not and I remember I need to pick up the most recent issue of my favorite weekly. I pick it up and lo and behold, their controversial glossy cover has transformed back to the not-so-forgotten matte cover. The journalist inside of me squealed with happiness and I was smiling from ear to ear, as my eyes excitedly skimmed the pages to see if the change would be permanent. It is! I did a little happy dance in my head and giggled as I crossed the street.

And that story brings me to one of my biggest loves: journalism. I can't believe what a huge journalism nerd I am, but really, you have no idea the joy I get from copy editing the Metro on the subway in the morning, or reading the local paper and knowing when there's an AP style error, or good/bad page design. I have so many dreams and goals I want to achieve. Many people think "stoners" and "potheads" are ambitionless people with no goals or plans for the future. The opposite could not be any less true when it comes to me. All through high school I was an honor student and an editor for the school yearbook and now I'm entering my sophomore year at a well-established, private communications and arts school in New England. I'm majoring in print and multimedia journalism and minoring in magazine publishing. Next semester I want to enter the consortium program at a well-known New England music school to take classes in music business and management. My dream is to be a music journalist, despite the dying industry. I'd love to move out of the country within the next 10 years, I want to travel a lot more too. I like to think I have a way with money, being that I almost always have it. I'm really good at saving and at only 18 am about to start my 401(k). Have you ever heard of a more financially responsible, pot smoking, teenager before? I didn't think so.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I've found it!

If you're like me, you anticipate being hungry or thirsty and eat while smoking. I usually end up satisfied, but smoking always ruins the flavor of whatever I'm eating or drinking.

Not anymore! When I got off of work today at an unnamed coffeshop and I came home and started smoking I realized my iced venti no syrup green tea lemonade actually tasted better with the flavor of pot. Can you imagine that? I immediately called my best friend Sandy, (the only other person I know who smokes more than I do) and excitedly told her my discovery.

Do you know what she told me? She hates tea. Who hates tea? Either way, you should try it out, not only is it utterly delicious and refreshing (I've had 4 today, refills are only $ 0.53) but it has made smoking a little more enjoyable (I didn't think that was possible) but watch out, it has more caffeine than you would think. I had some pretty late the other day and didn't go to sleep til 4 A.M.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

My chronicles with chronic.

I have a lot of family. When I was little, my uncle (who passed many years ago) used to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder and rub his unshaven face on mine til my cheeks turned pink. He also used to call my mom "Marihuana," which to me at the time, was just her first name in spanish. I never really understood why my mom would get so mad. Or why my cousin's aunt always called them her 'little cigarettes'.

I suppose I've been around it all my life. I started smoking pot when I was 15. The very first time I was with my uncle and cousins (who were younger than myself and were buying and selling regularly) and we drove all the way to the outskirts of town to pop fireworks for 4th of July. I know I didn't inhale properly. Whatever, the fireworks were fun.

The second time I was with a friend who later developed a serious drug problem. We drove around in her friends BMW downtown (back when gas wasn't $4 a gallon) with the windows open and went to the Family Thrift center and had a really great time. I remember laughing, and being so happy about life.

Today I'm 18 (with a birthday in a few months) and smoking daily. I don't laugh much anymore, but I love smoking. On my trips to Texas my best friend and I will go through an ounce in a week. I can go without smoking, although I would rather not. When I'm not smoking my depression and anxiety become worse, and I'm never hungry.

And that's what this blog is going to be about. My chronicles with chronic, so to speak. You can read about my depression when bouts hit and read how pot effects it, see what I do when I'm stoned, see what pipes and bongs I'm looking to buy, my favorite rolling papers, recipes, cures for the munchies, new medical and political developments and basically anything pot related.

Stay tuned, Sandy.