Growing up in south Texas we used to play a game we called "mexican sweat." Living in Massachusetts, northerners who play it, tend to call it "chicago-ing." I will never call it anything but mexican sweat. Basically, when you play, you just hold it in until the rotation comes back to you. It's actually, a lot harder than it sounds, especially if you're in a large rotation, but it can get you reallllly high.
First person to let it go and start coughing is deemed the pansy and made fun of. It's actually pretty fun. I used to love playing with my friends in the pool in my backyard in the middle of summer. I actually, kind of miss that, and miss Corpus right now. I'm sure that will change once I get there, but hopefully I can get and ounce and not really have to think about being there. My home town makes me really sad, it's just full of really weird cycles, it was so systematic and stagnant. And mostly I couldn't stand driving over that fucking bridge anymore.
When I was about 8 I think (I don't actually know how old I was because no one talks about it) my dad attempted suicide. He jumped off the Harbor Bridge in downtown Corpus Christi. Awesome. Lucky for the bastard, he's one of a handful of the large number of people who have attempted suicide on that bridge to survive. Still, as you can imagine, things were kinda rough and sad, and painful, wah wah. So I don't like Corpus. It's one big stressor in my life.
Count-down to Corpus starts now, only 19 more days. I can feel my back tensing up. But when I come back I get to start packing, and I get to start moving and my bee will move in, and it will be grand. And most importantly, school will start. So I can stop smoking all day and do something productive. I love school. I want to try to up my GPA so I can get on the Dean's List by next fall. I have a 3.4 now, I need to have a 3.7. I also want to get a boyfriend. I need to move on from old lovers.
I'm feeling vulnerable so I'm going to go, but, goodnight!